I turned 21 earlier this mont. Even though im mucch like a child, I feel so jaded and far from my memories. This is my last real birthday worth celebrating. All down hill from here. For about 6 months i’ve been making some feeble attempts at planning a future. I cant bring myself to actively work towards it. I dont want to work or study the rest of my days away. I dont care to date, or try to keep up with the jones. Im bitter. Im lonely aznd i’ve learned that life is nothing but a series of ups and downs. Most people […]
I’ve been away from most of the internet for a while. Except for the rare occasion that  I get off of my ass and do some “work”.
I’m a cam girl now. It could be a pretty easy job but as with most things, I make it more difficult than necessary.
I haven’t left my house in a couple of week. I just don’t see the point.
Tomorrow, I will be going to a friends house, not because I really want to but because she BEGS!
Shes the only friend I speak to regularly and I’m the same to her which is why she begs like she does.
I’ve pushed […]
This is pretty much my life story. I wrote it a while back but never posted it.
I’m Lex, a 20 year old female living in Michigan as I always have. Why am I here? Just to talk about myself for the time being.
My story is an unremarkable one. It offers no true explanation to why I am the way I am, today. But it’s the truth as I know it.
I was born and raised in a very small town on Lake Michigan’s coast. My parents weren’t truly “together” when I was coming up. I seldom recall them even being in the same room. It didn’t […]
I suppose that I’m coming to terms with what “living” means. It’s not what you hope it will be as a child.
Though, I do still feel like a child most days.
I can’t have what I want or do what I please so most days I simply do nothing.
Growing up I (mostly) had everything I needed.
I suppose that’s why I simply can’t accept life  for what it truly is; suffering and struggling to get by and move forward.
I can’t remember the last time I felt happy or content.(unless I was smoking weed or taking pills)
Why is it that the only things that make me feel good […]
How do you tell a loved one you want to die?
In my experience, even telling someone that you’re feeling a bit down usually earns some negative judgement.
“What do YOU have to be so depressed about?” “Stop being so dramatic.” “Just look on the bright side.” “Find a hobby or something to do”
No, they don’t realize it’s very possible to lose interest in everything you once loved.
Even if you’re just a burden.
Much like my aunt.
My aunt is 48 years old and suffers from Schizophrenia and HIV. She has cost the family a lot of money and friends. She is a burden on my mother and grandmother.
Every […]