Author

lixie

I’m back…

by lixie 3/20/2014

written by lixie

To tell you all that everything is gonna be alright.

Ive been so far down. Came to this site once. Got a little back up again after talking to likeminded people. Fell right back down. Ive cut, I loaded my ex-boyfriends gun and held it to my head. Ive cried for days. Stopped eating for days. I have scars up my arm.

But today I’m free. And you will be to if you just hold on. I know that each and everyone of you in here are here because you have something holding you in this life. It is some reason you have deep inside that is […]

3/20/2014 8 comments

In desperate need.

by lixie 2/2/2012

written by lixie

I need someone to talk to.

I’ve made a new email you can post to. Dont wanna be recongnized by anyone.

exempelsp@hotmail.no

Please someone.

2/2/2012 2 comments

I am small

by lixie 1/11/2012

written by lixie

My mother left my father when I was 2 years old. He was an alcoholic and used to be a little violent against my mother.

I’m turning 24 this year.

My father has changed. He doesn’t have a problem with the alcohol now, he drinks, but not every day. He is well now.
He always send me gifts. Birthdays and christmas. This christmas he called me. He’s done it before. We talk, and I love it. Everytime he calls, after we hung up I cry for hours. I so badly want to have a relationship with him, but I’m a coward. I live in another town, so […]

1/11/2012 3 comments

it’s been 2 years..

by lixie 3/8/2011

written by lixie

Since my last cut.

Now I’m back counting again.

2 minutes now, since my last cut..

2 seconds..

3/8/2011 31 comments

Dear Diary

by lixie 3/7/2011

written by lixie

Second day writing my diary here.
I’m pretending no one can read it, but comments are nice. Good to have a diary I can really talk to, lol.

Today was bad. My boyfriend completely ignored me all day, even though I texted him last night and told him I couldn’t sleep because I was having a bad day. No response then, he was probably asleep. But I didn’t get any response the day after (today). He lives btw with some friends of mine, and we all gathered there today to watch a show that started airing tonight. When he came home from school he sat down […]

3/7/2011 1 comment

Leave me out with the waste.

by lixie 3/6/2011

written by lixie

Now, I’ve heard by many that if you write a diary, you get your thoughts sorted out on paper, and you can look at it afterwards, and it’s supposed to be good therapy.

So this will be my diary.

Today I felt really happy. My favourite football-team won against a rival that they haven’t beaten for a long time.
I smiled, I laughed.

Now I’m unhappy, and keep finding excuses not to cut myself, although I haven’t cut in almost 2 years now. I wanna cry, cuz I think maybe that will release some of the stress I’m getting because of this.
But I’m broken. I can’t cry. […]

3/6/2011 3 comments

Little miss failure..

by lixie 1/30/2011

written by lixie

Happy I found this site again after over a year with searching 🙂

Anyway, there’s a reason I found it again, I’m as lost and feeling down as I did last time I was here.
The title explains my feelings now.. I’m 23 years old soon, still in school, guess you call it High School, at least in my country it’s the school you attend to from you are 16-19.

23 years old… And still here…
Or actually, I’m not, because I just got kicked out because of too much absence. Now I’m in a position where I have no income, no money at all, I have […]

1/30/2011 8 comments

Everything is falling apart.

by lixie 5/8/2009

written by lixie

I’ve been suicidal for a while now, after my boyfriend cheated on me 4 times. I really don’t wanna explain, talking about it hurts me so bad. Although I’ve always wanted to write about my feelings for other to see, I was to scared that anyone I know would see it, and figure out it was me.

Well, from when I was 14, I started hurting myself. Cutting my arms and burning with cigarettes. At first, I admit it was for the attention, maybe a cry for help that someone would see me. But after a while I stopped that.. Showing it around. And now it’s […]

5/8/2009 6 comments