I moved out of my mum’s house to get away and have a chance at living. There I was falling behind in school, and I had to raise both of my siblings and take care of them even though one was three years older than me. I did all the house work, cooking, and cleaning. I played Mum because no one else cared. Finally, ten months ago, I moved out and in with my aunt and cousins. I don’t know which place is worse. Everyone here hates me. I’m the ***** that moved in and ruined everybody’s life even though I’ve been generous and I […]
Whenever I get depressed or really upset, I get the shakes, and involuntarily rock back and forth, the itches start, and I suddenly need to fidget. These don’t always happen together. Different emotions trigger different things. When I cry, sometimes my brain feels like it completely shuts down and I don’t even think I’m breathing anymore, though that’s impossible. All I know is there is a wall in front of me, and I finally know what it’s like to not feel. I want to cry for days sometimes, but I apologize when I do cry, even if no one is around to witness it. I […]
I just don’t want to be here anymore. I want to close my eyes and wake up far away from here. I want the ocean to roar around me with every wave, as I watch them crawl up the sandy shore. I want to be in a dark hole in the ground. I want to have a place to hide, a door to shut, a place where no one can ever make me feel this way. I want things to just stop and go away, I can’t take it anymore. I’ve been so nice, and accommodating, but people still say I’m a ***** even though […]