Straight into that vortex. Now I’m the focal point between the currents, wandering around looking for some ham to put on my toast.
The future is uncertain. Tomorrow is uncertain. There’s no telling what will happen, and making a contingency plan is just too much work. I’ll improvise like a stupid juggler when the audience throws tomatoes at him. I know all the temps at work will be getting laid off soon. My car is a piece of junk, but at least I’ve managed to fix the most pressing issues with it now. And this kitten meows like a frog that got swallowed by a pelican.
So let’s just take this whole train and derail it with some randomness.
Too much free time, too little sleep every night, nothing to do.. feels like I have lots of things to do, but I can’t identify what those things are. Maybe I should cut back on the coffee.
People die. It happens.
I almost got fired for a very stupid reason, but managed to dodge it somehow and am now hinging my hopes on getting a car that’s not mine fixed by Monday, so I can drive to work in a car that’s not leaking oil like an incontinent bladder. Because I could get fired for that, apparently.
And in securing that vehicle, I learned my sister was in the hospital for a septic infection, and they’re moving her to a hospice. She’s got no insurance, and I think the big cahones at the place don’t want no freeloaders taking up valuable beds that rich […]
I don’t know why the title, but it isn’t what it’s not. Heh. I may be a little loopy.
Everything is exhausting. I think I might be autistic. Or rather, further along the spectrum than just ADHD. I can’t people. People make distracting mouth-sounds. I can cat. Cats make soothing purr sounds. Everything is too complicated, and there’s too much of it. I’m an irritable mess and it only gets worse as the days drag on.
Quick, while the boss is in a meeting.
I dedicate this song to the place I work, and the lady I work for. Aw, shucks.
He adopted me. I was going grocery shopping and when I opened my door to step outside, he raced into the apartment and now refuses to leave. I guess I’ve got room for one more.
Have to act like human today when it feels like a spinning top took residence inside my head and it’s all off kilter.
There’s not enough coffee in the world to make acting like a human enjoyable.
Help, I just can’t do it. I’m living the dream and the dream is shit. Screw the dream, screw the man, screw the McCoffee. I don’t wanna people today. But I gotta, so I’ll do it like tearing off a band-aid and make it as fast as possible. Then I can maximize the time I sit around wondering what to do with myself. Sounds like fun.
Oh joy! What fun!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAFsoz0IH44
God, after introspection here, I think I might be an asshole, too. So everyone is an asshole. We’re all a bunch of assholes. Great. Everything is just peachy.
I woke up and this video was playing. I think the cats were crawling all over my keyboard while I was asleep. I feel like they were trying to tell me something, but I have no clue what it could be. Just remember…. it could always be worse. You could be that guy and also eat cute animals.
All I’m saying today.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XyY7Yvx2PYA
Please don’t eat me.
How do you stop being who you are? Or is it possible that what you think you are, isn’t what you are? What the hell actually is me? Am I the person other people see, the things I’ve done, or their outcomes, even if nobody else has seen the results but me? Or am I who I think I am – maybe the outline in my mind of who I’d like to be in those ego filled moments that happen from time to time without my noticing. Aspirational me? Trying to be better me? Trying to shine, me? Why bother doing anything like that if […]
I’m going dancing in the parking lot tonight.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1g62x7qybA
Do you like silence, or do you find it uncomfortable?
I like it. I like it a lot. There’s this guy named John Zerzan who put it like this – civilization is a conspiracy of noise designed to cover up the uncomfortable silences. But not everyone finds them uncomfortable – the noise might be what’s uncomfortable. I hate noise. Flashing lights, screeching sirens, churning of machines, countless feet walking down graded pavement, doors opening and closing, water dripping from faucets. It’s all so mechanical and arbitrary. Where are we all going in such a hurry? Just lay back in the river and let the current pull […]
…and we’re the crazies dancing around it.
No, Mr. Watts, I would do no such thing.
…now I’m going back to sleep. Like a weird sloth that sleeps on a bed. Probably have moss growing on me. Who knows.
Reminder to myself: There were no survivors.