its getting easier…
im so tired-
whos gonna love me when the curtains close?
im that one person that everyone secretly hates but no one has the heart to tell me to fuck off.
“i had all, and then most of you, some, and now none of you. Take me back to the night we met”
-Lord Huron, the night we met.
when does it get better?
I’ve been waiting for it to get better and I truly do hope things get better for myself and everyone around me, but seriously I’ve been waiting and waiting around for life to get better… so when does it?
when will people stop leaving?
I know people come and go but all these people seem to do is leave… they’re all like tourists. they’ll stay for a week or so, love it, hate it, and then leave it. leave me.
where can I go to be okay?
why does it seem like everywhere I go, it always seems like I’m a burden? I’m sorry…
when will things finally end?
too much noise…
when will things be quiet?
they say it gets better… but does it?
it wasn’t fair. how you got to move on and I’m stuck here trying to get over your ass. its not fair how once, we talked about our future and now we barely talk at all. how i poured my heart for you and you refuse to notice my pleas… its not fair that i try to fall in love with someone else but you. are. always. there. i miss your hugs and your voice and your warm brown eyes. it was a short amount of time that i fell deep into the abyss of your heart. i fucking love u and i hate myself fo that.
every time i see you i want to cry. all of my friends tell me “you deserve better” or “you shouldn’t waste time on him” or “you too good for him”. it doesn’t matter how many times you tell me these things. i still put on a fake smile so everyone things I’m okay. I’m sorry I’m fucked up and that i was too much for you. i just wish i was enough for you to stay.
hey. I realize I’m a lot younger than a lot of the people on this site. I know it sounds hella stupid that someone my age would have everything against the world but I feel like no one understands… like I’m drowning and everyone’s watching and having fun but all they see me is swimming- thriving. I know… “reach out,” they say. “we’re here for you,” they say.
the funny thing is, once, I believed them. I reached out once… and came on too strong… they ‘ran’ away. reached out to someone else… “you’re being dramatic” they said. well, maybe they were right. but do they know what it’s like to be afraid of yourself? do they know that I can scare someone away with nothing but simply a glance? I’m tired of always trying to search for the place where I belong or where I’m in the least respected.
I’m tired of searching for the right people, for a reason to try. I’m tired of lies and fake promises and everything in between. I know it sounds petty… there’s more I swear but for now I’m just tired.