Been fighting for this boy for so long, now I’ve got him it feels so wrong.
Like its getting way to serious way to quick.
And I don’t even feel like I’m in a relationship, even though I am.
I felt like he was going to make my happy but now, I’ve lost that.
It’s an uncomfortable feeling and its getting bullshit.
I don’t know what to feel anymore.
One minute he’s the best thing ever and now he’s just a boy.
A clingy over protective boy.
I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.
What’s wrong with me?
How can I be head over heals […]
Everyone is against me because I’m different.
My own family hate me because I’m not like them.
Because I’m always sad, down, depressed..
They tell me I’m an attention seeker, slut and even a mistake.
I don’t even tell my bestfriend anything anymore, so she doesn’t jugde me.
It’s summer and I’m still wearing jumpers and skinny jeans.
No one understands what it’s like to be me. It’s difficult. I hate it.
I’m being treated like shiy for the person I am.
Makes sence.
Family, aren’t you ment to support me?
Friends, aren’t you ment to be there?
Boyfriend, aren’t you ment to stick […]
He told me he likes me, asks me out then writes a status saying “like if I have a chance with you” 30 seconds after I say yes to dating him.
I ask him to be in a relationship with me on facebook and he says no…
Then he rings me while he’s at a girls house and she’s putting makeup on him..
I told him I have trust issues and I have bad bipolar and he gets upset when I’m on the phone not being my “natural self”..
Hello Beau, you’re at another girls house right now, you won’t be in a relatonship […]
I don’t want to be here anymore. Full stop.
I’m sick of everything! I hate everything and I want to be gone.
It would be so much easier if I was 6 feet under.
Thinking about it, I wonder who would care?
Who would cry?
Who would shrug it off?
Who would miss me?
Who would be heart broken?
Who would be happy..?
I’ve never thought about it because I’ve never wanted to fucking die this much.
And truthfully, I couldn’t care..
I just want to be out of here.
I thought it would all be better by now. But it’s not.
I thought things would change. But now I’m afraid they never will.
I’m alone and I think its ment to be this way. So I can disappear and no one will miss me.
I dont wan’t anyone anymore. I used to be afraid of being alone and feeling numb.
But it’s ment to be.
Just a little deeper and I’m finally gone.
I’m lost in a dark room in my own head.
I’m in pain and agony from all the thoughts that circulate.
The frightening answer of suicide and leaving.
I feel weak because I can’t accomplish it. I don’t slice deep enough.
I don’t take enough pills and I don’t use a thick enough rope.
I consider myself a coward. Because I cannot finish what I started in the middle of the year.
I’m alone, I’m scared I’m afraid. I’m worried and I’m in pain.
Each breath I take is another mistake. I shouldn’t be breathing this air.
Am I selfish for wanting it all to […]
I’m numb. No emotions, no feelings. Nothing.
I don’t care if I get hurt. I kick my toe, nothing.
I hit my head, nothing. I cut my wrists, nothing.
I don’t feel heart ache anymore. I don’t care if I cut to deep.
I don’t even care if my family find out what I write on here.
I’m 16 name is Chaifair, I live in a nothing town with people who just don’t care.
I’m over living my life like a happy little trooper. I’ve been faking my smile all day.
No one knows what goes on in my mind, because I don’t know either.
It’s hard to breathe when I serve no purpose.
I have nothing keeping me here.
I’m like a balloon on string connected to a rock, earth is the rock.
My string is coming loose and I’m bound to float away soon.
Ha, 16 and thoughts like this. Kinda sad, but I would help it if I could, I just can’t.
Living, breathing, laughing, smiling, it all seems so difficult and out of reach.
I’m unable to handle it all.
Have mercy on what’s left of my soul.
Depression is taking over and I’m trying to escape.
One option.
One solution.
One blade, a big […]
In the last year, becoming well known in this town has Brang a lot of pain. The expectations haunt me, Im ment to be the same as the other girls. I’m not the same and i never will be. trying to run from all of it, I want to be invisible again. I want to disappear. People won’t miss me, I’m not worth it. I’ve only been cared about when guys break up with their girlfriend. I feel used and its my fault? I can’t talk to anyone because they all judge and call attention seeking. This town is made out of fuck heads, users, […]
As I watch my blood drip off my arm,
I start to feel pain and suddenly I’m calm.
The fact that I feel something brings joy to my face.
Though I know I don’t belong here in this dreadful place.
Swallow these pills and cut some more.
The questions circulate “why are you here for?”
All I get is judgment and pain.
For nothing but to cut closer to my vein.
Get a grip and don’t be a sook.
Scar your arm so people have a reason to look.
Happy, smiling, laughing, enjoying myself.
Yeah, one day I should become an actor.
I only be what people expect me to be.
I fake my happiness to get though the day without questions.
I’ve developed a people phobia, and now when people come running towards me, I start to shake but they don’t see that. Because I smile and say “Omg good to see you”.
I’ve got low self esteem but people tell me I’m beautiful, I say “thanks pretty, we’re all beautiful.” I hate the life I live. But people think I love it, because I say “life couldn’t get any better!” People […]
I walk in this world in slow motion, people laughing at me, looking at me funny.
I try and get away but I run in a circle and end up back in the same place, with the same people. Confused and scared I look to the floor to find something shiny glittering in my eyes. I walk towards it to find a blade, I pick it up and think. “Stay here, where people laugh and stare. Or 6 feet under, quiet, still.” As I put the blade to my wrist I finally smile and crave the fact no ones judgement can hurt me. So now […]
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