So, either I break up with my boyfriend, or my parents kick me out and (they own a business and I work for them) fire me, or… You know.
So guys I know most the stuff posted on this site is depressing but I wanted to tell you about a friend of mine. He shot himself point blank in the forehead. Luckily people found him just a few minutes later and he was still alive. He was rushed to the hospital and put in ICU. Somehow either miraculously or whathaveyou he survived. No, he is not a vegetable either, actually now that inearly 6 months have passed, he is having conversations, standing up, solving difficult puzzles and going through physical and mental therapy. I hope to god […]
And this sweet sugar gun does not protect me
they say depression
isn’t a sign of weakness
but of trying to be strong
for far too long in an unrelenting world
to destroy your spirit
and you won
Why do you turn good, innocent things into wrong, into sin? Â Why do you have to fuck with my mind to the point that even happiness causes me to want to pull the trigger? Â I should not have to deal with this. Â You tell me you treat me like an adult, but I have to wait until you’re long asleep to do what I want, without you looking over my shoulder. Â And as a parent you are supposed to help me through life, be there for me when no one else is, give me advice. Â But no you slap this nonsense religion in my face […]
Overdosed on my meds, just got me high as fuck. Â I don’t even remember how many I took there’s only like 3 left in the bottle. Â Still have a migraine 2 days later.
Deeper than I thought,
More profound than I expected…
Does anyone else have a violent hatred for veins?
“What  the fuck were you thinking!!!???  Do you care!!??? Does it even bother you!!???  You almost killed yourself and who knows how many other people!!!”
No… I couldn’t find even an ounce of regret. Â I have searched the deepest parts within me and no, I didn’t care. Â It doesn’t bother me… Is that bad?
What would have happened that night? Â Oh God, I am suicidal, but maybe a little more subtle than a gun to my head. Â I am reckless, completely and totally to the point that the thought of dying is barely an afterthought. Â I’m consciously putting my life in as much danger at any given […]
i’m living but my nights are full of death.
i’m sleeping but my dreams tire me.
i’m running but my legs keep moving slower.
i’m breathing but my lungs ache with fatigue.
i’m screaming but there is no one to hear.
i’m burning but i won’t catch fire.
i’m bleeding but the pain no longer numbs.