Author

Lutefisk

Current status: alive

I’m terrified and I don’t know what to do

by Lutefisk 3/14/2020

written by Lutefisk

I was too optimistic in thinking I wouldn’t need this site again.

Spring break is finally starting and since my college is getting quarantined and moving online, I’ll get to work from home and break has been extended by a week. I would be looking forward to that, but there’s something I need to take care of first before I can even think about going home or the next quarter and it’s way worse than most of what I’ve had to deal with before.

I ended up with a failing grade for at least one of my three classes so far, and one of the others isn’t […]

3/14/2020 1 comment

Hey you bunch of sad sleepy hooligans, lookie here

by Lutefisk 4/16/2018

written by Lutefisk

Hey! I was just thinking… Since depression generally makes us into a bunch of tired fools (or at least i certainly am always exhausted), why not have some fun and become a god of your own world while you sleep all day? I found a huge post on Tumblr about lucid dreaming (courtesy of the blog Audrey and the Whale, linked to below) that, as far as my experience goes, is pretty accurate. This is pretty much copied and pasted, but i’ve made a few annotations to it for any clarity I can offer. There are plenty of sources online dedicated to this phenomenon, and […]

4/16/2018 8 comments

so goddamn tired and can’t sleep it away

by Lutefisk 4/15/2018

written by Lutefisk

all i do now is bs my homework for grueling AP classes i barely care about or fall behind and get chewed out by my parents who i hate to disappoint, but i’m a disappointment anyway i guess lmao what else is new right

my family and friends might love me but i’m starting not to care anymore because i just hate myself so much and become so jealous of their flourishing lives that i’m pretty sure if i were to show how i really feel to other people i’d truly be the burden i believe myself to be deep down

i’m just surviving day by day […]

4/15/2018 5 comments

What Next?

by Lutefisk 6/23/2017

written by Lutefisk

I just don’t know what to do with myself now. I’ve pretty much completed the biggest part of my bucket list (somewhere I traveled) and now I can’t seem to motivate myself at all. I know what I would want to do in the future, but now it feels like whether I make it to that point or not doesn’t matter at all. I have a wonderful life filled with supportive and kind people who tell me daily how much potential I have, but I have nothing to show for it. Guilt and a vague but almost desperate feeling of “there’s surely something left for you […]

6/23/2017 2 comments