I cling to life, not to hope.
I personally have contemplated suicide for over 15 years… it’s tough to determine when I started considering it so I’ve approximated.
I realise that everyone has had different pasts and different reasons for considering suicide… but is moving past the idea of suicide, is it something that is truly genuinely possible? Moving past like never think of suicide again.
The only thing that i have been able to do is suppress the desire but it is always there… it just depends. I spend a lot of time ruminating about my past… I can’t seem to move past this either. I don’t have a lot of activity […]
I think there was a similar post on here but I thought I’d post again to see perhaps different insight.
Is there anyway to make it easier for the people that you leave behind? I have struggled many years adjusting from an existence of isolation…. I’m nearing the end and have thought of ways to make it easier. I have dropped hints and have asked the question to someone who I hold dear ” Would you be okay [go on with life] without me?”. I have spoken with my sister stating that I simply don’t know how long I’ll be around. I am in the […]
To be or not to be, that is the question.
To be is temporary.
Not to be is an undeniable eventuality.
(I saw that on the Internet somewhere).
Apparently aspects of anxiety can lead into depersonalization…. something that I do honestly think I have. Depersonalization is apparently fairly common… anyone out there who feels that they’re depersonalised?
http://m3playalm.hubpages.com/hub/anxiolytics
Life is like a wonderful toy. You give this wonderful toy to a toddler who loves playing with it until one day you take this wonderful toy away to the dismay of the toddler. It was the plan right from the start.
Why the flying fuck would you give the toddler the toy in the first place if your plan was just to take it away?
How does one *fix* the affects of abuse? You can’t fix that what is. You just learn to cope. No matter how hard one tries, the memories are still remain; forever haunting, forever there.
I have been told to dwell not on that what was but rather focus on what can be. I have always maintained that focusing (and influencing) one’s future is largely based on one’s past, as it is one’s past that makes up one’s present. It is one’s present that gives one strength and abilities to influence one’s future. We are after all the sum of all of our experiences.
One’s past = […]
I know he had struggles though I know nothing more than what was posted over the past 15 or so days. I haven’t seen him post since his last message that said his time was drawing to an end that night after two unsuccessful attempts. He was lonely and without hope. I don’t know if he is around (though I hope he is) or not but regardless I still light a candle for him.
I look back over my life, such as one does, and can now understand the difficulties that I’ve had. Notwithstanding that I grew up in semi-severe isolation (refer other posts) I know now that I have a mental illness of some sort. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety but these, I believe, are side issues to a greater matter not yet diagnosed. I wonder if I am on the autistic spectrum? Maybe something else? I know that I do not have schizophrenia for example (no offense to those who have it) …. I just know that there is something more.
I live […]
I have read The Peaceful Pill and I think I know how I’d like to go. I won’t post it but knowing the how somehow gives me a slight sense of peace in amongst all the chaos.
A very small part of me tells me to keep going, struggle on. A mountainous part of me however speaks to the contrary telling me that my struggle has been long (and it has) with no hope of living any sort of life away from the angst that consumes me. I have posted before parts of my struggles. They don’t begin to explain the war that exists inside of […]
As more and more countries adopt the idea of assisted suicide–thankfully of course–one has to ponder why assisted suicide is only available to those who are terminally ill and mentally sane? Why can the option be made available to those who are not terminally ill but yet mentally sane? Not everyone who is suicidal is mentally incompetent and lacking the ability to reason and/or understand the consequence of actions.
Canada has yet to adopt the rules and guidelines for assisted suicide. Thankfully due to a Supreme Court landmark decision, the court has made assisted suicide legal and gave a year for the Government of Canada to […]
It is tough for me to explain and on the added front, it is tough for other people to understand as well. In the end, I am another person who wants to die but at the same time hangs on.
I definitely did not grow up “usual”. I grew up best described as isolated on a farm. I am the youngest. I have two older siblings, a sister (5 years older) and a brother (7 years older). We attended church and I attended Sunday school which was the sole social interaction that I had for my first 5 or so years of life. It was extremely […]
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