Author

MentallyWeak

I'm Holland, and I don't think I've ever gone a day without thinking about killing myself. It's hard living in this world, but it's even harder trying to pretend that things will get better.

Faked Illness

by MentallyWeak 8/16/2015

written by MentallyWeak

One of the things that piss me off the most is when people do drastic things for attention.

I hate when people say they have depression and that they’re depressed when they really mean sad. Like depression is a mental illness that you would have to be diagnosed with. You can’t go around telling people that you’re depressed and expect sympathy. I get that being sad can eventually turn into depression. You cannot just have it from one day to the next. If you were actually depressed, you wouldn’t tell anyone or make it public, because you know thay everyone will end up treating you […]

8/16/2015 3 comments

Nothing Lasts Forever

by MentallyWeak 8/6/2015

written by MentallyWeak

People need to understand that an ounce of happiness that comes into your life, will disappear in a matter of seconds. Theres no such thing as happiness. You can’t live happily ever after. This world is so messed up that people will convince your mind into thinking that your pain will go away, even though later that person is the actual causer of your pain.

People in relationships think that they’ll last forever and get married and have kids. No. Relationships don’t last. So I don’t really understand why people would put themselves through that kind of pain when they know that it’ll end badly for […]

8/6/2015 2 comments

The Professor

by MentallyWeak 7/30/2015

written by MentallyWeak

I honestly don’t understand how people can believe in God. Like what has he done for us?

I saw this video, it was a story of this professor who preached to his class for a whole semester how God couldn’t be real. He’d pick up a piece of chalk and say

“If God was real, he’d stop this piece of chalk from breaking.”

Then he’d drop the chalk and it would break.

One semester this Christian with strong beliefs took his class and at the end of the semester the professor said, “if you still think God is real, stand up”

And the Christian stood up and the […]

7/30/2015 28 comments

I’m Not Okay and It’s Not Alright

by MentallyWeak 7/28/2015

written by MentallyWeak

Sometimes I always go into deep thought about my life. Sometimes I feel like i have good days. But then at night i just think. Like, why should i live if i know people dont want me around? Why should i have to live, constantly feeling like people hate me for no reason? Why should I live, knowing there’s no reason to? My mom doesn’t know that i feel this way. But if i try telling her she’ll say im stupid . My guess is that she just doesn’t want to believe that i could feel this way.

My mom is a nurse and she […]

7/28/2015 4 comments

Suicide

by MentallyWeak 7/24/2015

written by MentallyWeak

I think about killing myself every single day, and I don’t think it’s gonna go away. I think about where I would do it, how I would do it, and who is even worth leaving my last few words for. I just don’t think I’ll make it passed high school anymore, I will be dead by then. And the thing is, I’m okay with that.

If my friends and family woke up one day and found out that I killed myself. Would they care? I don’t feel like they would honestly.

7/24/2015 7 comments

Social Anxiety

by MentallyWeak 7/23/2015

written by MentallyWeak

Does anyone else feel like even the people you are closest to hate you the most? I feel like everyone secretly hates me and wouldn’t at all mind if I were to kill myself. Like it would be good for all of us. One less annoying person to deal with, one less person to waste your breath and opinions on. One less person to look down on. My suffering will end, it will end soon enough and everyone would be at their happiest. I just don’t think I will be able to find a purpose. It’s impossible.

Maybe life, isn’t for everyone.

7/23/2015 9 comments

by MentallyWeak 7/21/2015

written by MentallyWeak

Wanting to die but being afraid of killing yourself is literally the worse.

Is there anyone thats around my age (16) ? I feel like i can relate more to people that are in high school ;-; xc

7/21/2015 11 comments

Not Yet.

by MentallyWeak 7/21/2015

written by MentallyWeak

My mother tells me I’m selfish but she doesn’t know that I didn’t kill myself yet just because I didn’t want to hurt her.

I really need a therapist, I’m constantly telling my parents I need a therapist, but they keep telling me to tell them my problems and the don’t fucken understand. Like they can’t take a hint. They don’t want to get me a therapist because they don’t want to pay the money.

If only they knew I was suicidal.

7/21/2015 6 comments

My Rape Experience

by MentallyWeak 7/20/2015

written by MentallyWeak

This is really hard for me to write, I’ve never spoken of this experience ever since it happened. When I was a little girl, around 5 years of age, something traumatizing happened to me. And it really messed me up. I’m the only girl in my family. I have 2 older brothers and my mother kept trying for a girl, then I came.

My mon was absolutely not ready to raise kids, so I don’t know why she had any of us. She herself didn’t really have a mom growing up, but she had so many years to learn she was never a good mother back […]

7/20/2015 9 comments

It’s Not Temporary

by MentallyWeak 7/19/2015

written by MentallyWeak

Do you ever hear people say, “It’s okay. It’ll all get better.” Or “It’s only temporary.” And “Stay Strong.”

I’ve heard those phrases so many times in my life, it never really motivates me at all to keep going. Honestly, I feel like people only say that, just because they don’t have anything else to say that’ll actually make a difference. I’m glad I’ve found this website because, writing how I feel is far better than telling a “friend” how I feel. I’m about to be a Junior in high school and sometime during my Sophmore year, I texted a friend that I’ve known for 4 […]

7/19/2015 2 comments