And I mean like always. When Im around people, I mean anyone (friends and family too, though I let my guard down a bit with my family) I have a big smile plastered on my face. It’s ridiculous really, when I talk to my therapist and I’m telling her about my suicidal thoughts, I have a smile on my face. I mean i’ll be telling her about how much I want to stab myself repeatedly with a huge knife and see all the blood oozing out and I’ll have a huge fucking smile on my face. I really don’t get why I do that. And […]
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I think I want to talk about my past a bit. Not like talk to people about it, because im still to scared to do that, but write it down In a place where people could read it. I think I’m kind of hoping that in doing this it’ll be easier for me to come to terms with what’s happened to me and maybe actually tell someone one day.
However I don’t know if I can do that here. Is their like a post limit or anything? It doesn’t seem much like a multi-post website to me.
I mean I would do it on other websites, […]
I guess my biggest problem right now is that I can’t seem to get myself together enough to tell them the truth. I mean people know, my family and friends know that I’m like this(suicidal) but no one knows why because I’m to scared to tell them. I do have a therapist, and I am on anti depressants, but I don’t want to talk. I mean I do want to talk, I just can’t. The words literally won’t come out of my mouth. I really have nothing to be ashamed of, because not a single thing that happened to me growing up that was my […]