People toss around words like “hate” and “love” pretty often and yet they don’t know what either truly feels like. I thought I knew what hate was at one point, but I got over it and let it go. Then I met someone who caused me the most pain I’ve ever felt in my life. There hasn’t been a day in all these years I haven’t thought of that person, I dream about them, I think about them often enough when I wake up, during the day, and especially at night. Sometimes I picture resolving things with them but that’s extremely rare and not possible […]
Suicide is the only answer for me, don’t bother telling me otherwise, I’ve tried and failed before but I haven’t changed my mind. I’ve been unhappy and apathetic for as long as I can remember regardless of how hard I’ve tried to push myself or the different things I’ve tried. I just want the pain to go away, it’s really unbearable at times. I think about bad times in my life, about God, about all the bad people in the world, how bad the world is, how worthless I am, and often enough I picture myself dying in gruesome ways. I end up crying, shaking, […]
I told myself a year ago after I survived my suicide attempt that if things don’t get any better I’m going to do it again. Had I actually done it properly before I would’ve died guaranteed, but committing suicide the way that I did before isn’t something I can do again. It was painful and made me panic. There are tons of ways I can off myself but some of those are the most painful and hardest ways, I wish I was stronger then that. There’s only one way that I’ve found that seems painless from what I read and has one of the highest […]
I’m 22, I’ve been suicidal since I was 11 years old. I have no job, I’m incredibly insecure, I hate who I am, I’ve never had a single friend I could talk to in person about my problems, I’ve had one brief relationship. Nobody has ever made any kind of real effort for me, they say a lot but none of it has ever been backed up by any actions, I’ve never had anyone there for me. I either feel horrible or I feel absolutely nothing and that isn’t something that I consider to be living. I’ve been sick of it for a long time […]