I’ve got a question for you all. Please comment! As much as I believe there’s plenty of options for your life other than suicide, for some people it’s the only option. Whether they’re right or wrong is not my point. My point is, when we think our pets are suffering too much, we go to our vetss and they put our animals down, after exhausting all options. Sometimes they may put them down anyway no matter what! Because they realise we’re not liking the suffering we have to watch every day. So. Why is it wrong not to kill a person for reason of suffering, […]
I’m a survivor.
A few people in this world, supported a few med pros who taught me how to survive. Last wweek I wanted a dr to put a bullet through my head, over something stupid. I was having a hard time getting through some proocedures. So the dr had to spend an extra five minutes which seemed eternal for me, making certain that I wouldn’t go home and die. A family member, one of about five or six who I trust and stuff the rest of ’em, was understanding, but also disagreed with me at the same time. At least she cared and wanted to […]
Looks like my previous suicide plan isn’t necessary for now. My plan was to wait for five years, then kill myself if life is fucked still, or if it fucks up. There’s no way of knowing if life will fuck up, but because I’m happier now, I’ll see how I am in five years. Eye surgery successful, even though I only have one real eye, the other one feels the same as the real one, no more pain, have friends in one state in my country if I give up on family here or if they give up on me. Either wway, suicide isn’t necessary. […]
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/jppeters
I’ve read this journal for years. I want to show God how unhappy I am for taking this amazing little child too early. If God doesn’t want us to be greedy, why is he greedy for the death of children? But no it’s ok. I’m doing fine. I have a guide dog and all I want. Life is fine. I’lljust pretend that death feels ok, I’ll pretend not to grieve, while inside I’m sick of hearing about people dying after fighting for their lives for years. It’s a pity this kid had a life-saving surgery, only to die of influenza because God didn’t want him […]
And I’m not too happy about that. Let’s hope they go well or I’m gonna really fire up. If I have any severe reactions to my procedures next week everybody’s gonna know about it because I’ll be dealing my mental state out to everyone.
I went from not wanting to commit suicide, to going back to my original plan of killing myself in five years if life doesn’t get better. So now, regardless of what happens till then, the time bommb is ticking. If life gets better, the bomb stops counting down. If it gets worse, the fuse detonates. I’ll be 32 by then. Actually since I’ll be 28 in August, I’ll be 33 if I die in August in five years.
In any case, we’ll see what happens. I want life to get better and I don’t care what anyone thinks anymore. Life gets better for some and not […]
I still want to kill myself but there’s a few people around me who care. And I don’t want to satisfy the people who hate me cos it means they win. I live like a dog, I wake up each morning and survive. As much as I don’t think like an animal, I have the same existence as one. Blind people who’re totally blind that is, don’t seem to have as much success as most partially blind and sighted people in this fucker of a world. Some sighted people don’t have success, but it seems that the majority of people with disabilities are less successful […]
I want to know why my mother chose to keep me alive when I was born? Why did she give me two fuckwit siblings when she only wanted me to start with? She only had my two brothers because they wanted to come to life before me. And now that we’re grown up, they’ve got their own lives, everything they could have, before me.
I hate my two brothers. I wish they were both dead, I hate my Mum and I hate my Dad. My two brothers are fucking cunts, from their conception. I have been a fucking stupid loser from my conception. I want to […]
What the hell am I goiing to do next time I have eye surgery? What am I going to do when I’m badgered by my grandparents just because they care very little about anyone but themselves? I hate them to the point of murder. I nearly got locked away the other week because of that shit. Maybe I should go hang in their place just to fucking scare them, but unfortunately I won’t be coming back to witness their destruction from grieving over me.
But then I remember the fact that I have people who actually care about me. I guess I can get them to […]
Seriously I listen to this and wanna stay alive! Dunno why… Just makes sense with how I’m feeling really.
I’m no longer intent on committing suicide. I’ve been told I can make a living will if I want! It’ss for me, but also to stop my grandparents from trying to destroy my family by arguements on account of the decisions I make in my life, especially where medicines and comfort level is concerned. Thanks, disability assesser! And thanks, apparently nice nurses, doctors and the rest of my lovely hospital staff now friends, who have somehow gotten me over my grief over the last procedure that my Nan successfully caused great discomfort from, by simply interfering with what the doctors wanted, subtly. And last week […]
Tomorrow I’m seeing my doctors because they’ve made that decision for me and my grandparents have decided that they will make decisions and support other people’s decisions that have been made for me, even though I haven’t made them. Ok. Do I want to live like this? No. I can’t let some of my family members down. I can’t let myself down especially.. I’m no longer a nice person towards my grandparents. I hate their guts. They’re helpful to me because they have to be. I’m sometimes nice to them because I have to be. My two doctors nearly referred me to the mental staff […]
You guys would be happy to know that after a joking and laughing talk with my family about suicide, they found out today what I eventually want to do! Well, now a certain person won’t allow me anywhere near his guns, even if it means not letting me stay at his house for any length of time till I’m over wanting to die over this current situation, and my horrible grandparents. And nobody will get me a rope or help me make a make-shift gallows. Most other methods are hard so I’m not interested at this stage. A plastic bag would be easy enough if […]
If all goes well, I’ll be all right. If not, I’m gonna plan when to kill myself. What if I don’t do it? That’ll be decided when I put my plan into action. I won’t do it in my own home, I’ll do it at the person’s place, who I wish to spite, because they laughed at me today when I was telling my doctor something serious. So, if I choose to euthanise myself, it’ll be at their house, so that if they get time to save me, they can call the ambulance, and maybe they’ll feel less psychopathic towards me. Then again, affter this […]
I can’t think of the words to put in this. I’ve lived a good life, as good as it can be. As much as it hurts you to see me gone, it hurts me to have to live, just because you want me to be alive. Why should it matter that I’m dead when it doesn’t bother you that I’m suffering while I was alive. I’m bothered that you lot are in pain. Do you care that me dying will be more peaceful? All you care about is seeing me alive and not wanting me to go, with no respect for the peace I so […]
I have an eye appointment on Thursday. I’m going with waiting for five years, then will at least try to commit suicide if I decide life isn’t worth it then. But if I’m told that I’ll need surgery this week, I might have to just kill myself next week to get it over with, despite the fact that I hate death. I hate it, I also hate living when I think of all the fucking crap I have to put up with. If I’m not needing surgery I’ll not execute myself sooner. Hopefully someone will see more posts from me over next week, otherwise they […]
I need reasons to stay alive. I can’t kill myself at the moment for a few reasons. When it does come time for me to go, I’ll go to heaven or hell when I’m old. What difference does it make if I choose an earlier time? Death is death, just like an apple is an apple no matter the colour. Once my reasons for living have run out, I’m gonna kill myself. Somehow. I’ll need access to successful methods, but I’ll have a few years to work it out. I used to not believe in euthanasia, now if you ask me to help you die, […]
I love drinking coke… A lot. So I’m trying to drink myself to death. It’s unfortunate that I told my doctor that I love coke so much, because somehow she knows that I’m trying to slowly die so it looks like a circumstantial death rather than a deliberate ssuicide. Now the family is trying to stop me from drinking so much coke, so I’m gonna look for another sneaky way to abuse it.
I don’t want to die, yet I hate this life as well. A few health problems, yet I don’t want to go to hell. Yet when I’m old I’ll go there anyway. Different […]
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