miguel

Thinking I might actually kill myself.  For real.  I’m going through the process of deciding if I should do it or not and this is part of my process.  I’ve talked to one close friend and there are more people I would talk to before actually doing it.  I’m 21 and I’ve had suicidal thoughts since about 10.  I wrote this a while ago about how I feel: http://suicideproject.org/2011/01/on-friendship/ comment on that or on this, please.  Let me know how you feel so I can keep thinking about it.

I have goals, I have people, I’m about to graduate from college with good grades and then I’ll launch off into a career that could be rewarding.  But I don’t do these things except for some vague idea of the future and in order to survive. I don’t cry often, I don’t despair.  I’m apathetic toward nearly everything and I don’t think I can ever be happy because people out there don’t enjoy me or relate to me at all.  They don’t share any of my interests, they’re never really looking forward to seeing me.  They won’t come out of nowhere to say “hello” and […]