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MissCMF

I am having such a hard time, i have no clue what to do anymore, i don't want to talk to my family or teachrs as thye don't understand.... I also want to help people... people with problems as i dont want to see another person die because of bullying xx

Struggling Again

by MissCMF
written by MissCMF

I’ve been clean for three, four months and a couple of days ago i cut again, i hate myself for it, everything that’s going on, friendships, wanting to be non-binarry/ftm but my mum will never ever accept me, i just feel so load, and hour ago i broke down in my Uni class, i hate myself i’ve always been so strong and right now i’m the weakest i’ve ever  been, i feel like i’m being pulled and dragged around by my family, the people i talk to i don’t know who i am anymore…

 

I won’t eat, i’m losing so much weight, i’ve got people saying […]

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I got better… now im back

by MissCMF
written by MissCMF

for the past months ive felt so muhc better but now i feel so low again, i’ve told the two girls i love with all my heart everything that i did in my past… all the thigns i believe and i’m sooo scared of what they might think i want to do i dont want to hear what they think ebcause i admited to not being hounest to either of them and if they hate me my life is over… i dont know what to do…. i wanna die…

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I SHOULD BE DEAD!

by MissCMF
written by MissCMF

No one cares and those who do i dont want them to becuase i willonly just end up hurting them, People have been saying tome that im a real andi should just die.Maybe there right? theres nothing left for me in thuis world.

two days ago i fell down the stairs i can now barley move as my neck and back killsme. the sad thing is that i KNOW i derserve it, i am repilsedwith the things i do and ii know i shouldnt be aroudn t all.

i really need help, but my family dont understand,neither do my frineds i hang around with, they think i’mover […]

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Care or out of annoyance?!

by MissCMF
written by MissCMF

Anyone who’s read my previous post… you know about a guy who i say i love, i geuss you could say that today it’s got worse…. the boy has talked to the head about me looking at him… he talked to me about it but now i’m at an emotional.

so much so that i am a wreck i feel like i’m going to burst and even someone metioning it… makes me cry, the reason is i dont know if he did it because he cares… as a friend or just a person or as it was annoying him, i hate to think i’ve been annoying […]

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I GIVE UP!!

by MissCMF
written by MissCMF

Look this sounds shit but because I feel so bad because of things I’ve done…. I have been cutting and scratching words into my arm. It’s not deep and it’s not very clear and I try to keep the scars and the words covered up but it kills… so here’s the poem explaining why I do it…

 


DON’T JUDGE…. CUTTING HELPS!! – By MissCMF

 

At the moment I don’t feel like I want to talk to any living soul

I feel like I’m slowly falling, down a bottomless hole

So I guess it’s better to leave me alone

As if I had my […]

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…

by MissCMF
written by MissCMF

is it good that my whople life is baeced on  decisions, i’ve lsot myself by all the feelings i have flet and all the time i have melted down, at school and home. tythe only thing i know now are the people i care for, all but one aare hurting ,me, killing me from the inside but the one whchi isnt is the thing i’m keeping going with, without him on my side, without him caring i wouldnt be able to cope… is this a good thing or not?

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Before you Fade

by MissCMF
written by MissCMF

Before you Fade – MissCMF

© Copyrighted December 2012

 

Let the light wash over you, don’t let it take you

The darkness is fine; it’ll be your friend

Out of the rotting corpse in this world

Only the pure ones clean ones have their end

 

You might be scared; its path is whole and true

Keep to the path and nothing will happen to you

 

Listen to the wolf cry, don’t be afraid

Nothing can hurt you if you don’t betray

Let you emotions flow out; let your soul be saved

Let the darkness take your soul, before you fade

 

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Can you understand this?

by MissCMF
written by MissCMF

Can someone tell me if you can understand this? It’s the way I think, the way I want to speak but I don’t know if the school would understand this…

Darkness and despair let me be, out of the corpses that rot, only the pure are safe, without the addition of imperfections to world, and how can the light succeed the dark when the dark is the beauty and ghostliness of the world.

The darkness is in the light, waiting to strike to save souls but also the light is in the dark waiting to ruin the times of the pure, turning them away from what they […]

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…..

by MissCMF
written by MissCMF

i can’t do this anymore, i want to dissapar and die, theres no point in living or breathing when i know both the people i care for, one thinks i’m a freak, the other wants me dead, or dosent give a fuck about my life.

The second one in question, his innitals are HD, he hates my guts as once i told people i loved him he found his brother laughing and calling me his girlfriend, i have to admit, after two years of that i really dont like him doing that now, every time i see him he says it and its not helping me […]

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best quote ever

by MissCMF
written by MissCMF

“FEARLESS’ is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. To me, FEARLESS is having fears. FEARLESS is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, FEARLESS is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. FEARLESS is falling madly in love again, even though every time you’ve tried before you’ve lost FEARLESS is walking into your freshmen year of high school at fifteen. FEARLESS is getting back up and fighting for what you want all over again… even though every time you’ve tried before, you’ve lost. It’s FEARLESS to have faith that someday things will change. FEARLESS is having the […]

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I AM DEAD!!! MEANTALY!!

by MissCMF
written by MissCMF

I have made the BIGGEST MISTAKE IN MY LIFE!! I NOW JUST WANT TO DIE BECAUSE I KNOW THAT HE WILL WANT ME TO AS WELL!!… I KNOW HE FUCKING HATES ME AND WHAT IV’E DONEWILL MAKE HIM WANT ME DEAD… I DONT KNOW WHAT THE HELL WEHNT THOUGH MY MIND…. IT’S TO DO WITH THE DARK LORD…. THE BOY I CAUSED SO MUCH DRAMA FOR, TWO YEARS!! AND I THOUGHT I WOULD BE ABLE TO COPE BUT NO, I’VE MADE IT A HUNDRED AND TEN FUCKING PERCENT WORSE!!! I NEED TO DIE, I CANT FACE HIM, HE HATES ME AND ALL HIS FRIENDS WILL […]

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I thought i could cope :'(

by MissCMF
written by MissCMF

The last few days has been fne, i’ve been happy, infact a week and a bit i’ve been find and happy, but now i almost just want to end it all, i dont know why, or i dont get it, but as soon as i saw…. someone today i felt like shit and i just want to dissapear now, i dont want to be a problem for him anaymore… on  my poem in the other thead, he’s the main voice the voice thats wanting me to jsut go and never come back, i dont know if he thinks that or not, he can be really […]

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Whats in my mind – Poem Writen by me

by MissCMF
written by MissCMF

Controlled by a Masked Man By MissCMF

© Copyright November 2012

I can’t control any move, my head gives up soul comes to prove

The voices chant, the pain begins; I know I will never win

Crashing into tables, causing tears, but no one can know of these fear

When people enter I struggle to stop, act like I’m fine when really I’m not

 

If I told people what’s going on, they’ll think that I’m crazy that I don’t belong

Who has a masked man in their heads, who when takes over makes the real me

The voices he uses are the ones […]

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