https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vePA8pkM3fU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpwKghSiJNQ
Hello, Lonely.
I see you there.
Waiting,
thinking,
dreaming of better things.
Hello, Beautiful.
I see you there.
Leaving marks
on your lovely skin.
Waiting
for someone
to see your pain.
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/10-The-End-of-All-Things.mp3
She lies next to me, breathing softly, quiet whimpers drifting from her mouth as she sleeps, as I am wrapped in a sadness I cannot explain. She makes me happy, she does, but it seems to be more than that and yet, at the same time, less. Inside me, ocean waves pass over my head, tangling me in the current, and I can’t breathe. Tumbled in some form of vertigo in my head, in my heart, while my body lies on the sand, the water barely lapping at my toes.
So what’s wrong? Nothing.
Why, then, do I feel like I’m falling apart on the inside?
I […]
For whoever was wondering, after roughly six months of not posting, I’m still here.
“Why’d you stay?” you ask?
I fell in love with a beautiful, strong girl.
She’s gotten me through coming out, and she is my strength and my heart.
I still have my episodes, my panic attacks, but she’s helped me through it all.
I don’t understand her patience, her love, or why she is with a mess like me, but I don’t know how I should ever thank her.
We’ve had intimate conversations about self-harming and suicide, and the one day, she took my cutting arm and kissed every spot where my cuts had been. I’ve never […]
I was watching a favorite show of mine when suddenly it wasn’t funny at all anymore. I’m the kind of person that does not laugh much, if at all. This show used to make me crack up, but now it’s only a small smile here and there for me. So one day I was watching the finale of the show, smiling and laughing a little, then it was revealed that one character seemed like he was going to end his life.
Then another character, making fun of him, fakes shooting himself in the head, his mouth making the noise, not […]
Oh, look, Molly wrote something again. Let’s make fun of her wishes when she’s really being serious.
For all of you who feel like joking, it’s not funny anymore. In fact, it never was. Every time I have written on here I have been serious about what I have said.
Yes, I do plan on killing myself. The questions are “how?” and “when?”
More than likely it will be soon. I can’t take this anymore.
And the sad part is that I expected a little more empathy from the people on here.
So how about I make a joke now?
For all of you who don’t care, stop commenting
and go **** […]
Deep down I want to give up,
If only the blade could cut.
I want to die. I want to escape this place where I get screamed at for being angry, where doors slam all the time.
Will someone hold me quietly, save me from this place? Can I even risk that?
I am cursed. I cannot have anyone love me. Or I will be trapped in this hell called life.
I need someone. Just someone. To talk to, to listen. To respect my decision.
And to not say that he will miss me.
I’d rather be nowhere than here.
Put some white roses on my casket.
Make my grave shallow so I can feel the rain.
And burn all my things. Especially my poetry.
This is not how I want to be remembered.
I hate how people jokingly say that they are going to kill themselves over something. The phrase, “I want to kill myself” or “you should just go kill yourself” comes up so often in normal day conversations around me, well, it makes me sick to my stomach. When I went to go see Les Miserables in the theatre, after the one main character killed himself, someone started a slow clap. And you know what was worse? Other people joined in. I want to yell at those people.
Do you understand how offensive that is to me? Do you know how long I’ve considered killing myself? Do you know my friend killed […]
Play this song and read my story.
Take your time reading, preferably out loud and make pauses. I encourage you to listen to the rest of the song, even though the story ends early.
The girl walked in the cold. She didn’t care all too much, she had much bigger things to worry about. And she needed to get them done as soon as possible. Have closure.
She walked down the street, even though the snow made it feel like it had been longer. Her hands felt icy, like the coldest things she had ever touched. At least in temperature.
Memories raced through her head, though […]
If I’m online on here, I’ll message you back quickly.
scarsonherwrists@live.com
Some music:
CAUTION: MAY BE A TRIGGER.
(Play the song and read my story)Â 7 Pounds – Ennio Morricone – The Crisis
The snow falls
quietly,
slowly.
I wish you were here to see it.
Pure white,
soft
like cotton balls.
I drag my feet through it,
trace your name in it.
God, I miss you.
Maybe you’ll see it from here,
where I am so small?
The breeze catches the back of my neck.
Is that you?
breathing?
Telling me
You’re okay?
Do you miss me?
My hands are cold
like death.
like yours
When I held it for that last time.
Are you happy?
My tears freeze halfway down my face
Shivering,
I wonder,
Is this a good enough
goodbye?
7 Pounds – Ennio Morricone – The Crisis
Hope this helps.. Sorry we couldn’t talk.
If you only knew
How bad it hurts that you need me
How much I don’t want to leave
But how much it hurts to stay
Why can’t you just forget about me?
I am just skin
 and bones
and blood
and dirt.
Why care about where I go?
I’m already dead inside.
There’s no love left for me.
I’m not going to be someone else.
I will always be me.
You can’t change that. No matter how hard you try.
You will always scare me.
Don’t force me to be what you want.
I won’t change for you.
I’d much rather be alone.
Sometimes life can get pretty exhausting. And yes, that is an understatement. My stack of homework pushed aside for the moment, I try to relax.
The only light in my room is my lamp from my desk, which creates a low yellow glow. The only sounds are the hum of my computer, the typing of the keys, and my cat cleaning herself. In this quiet environment, she can be a racket. Especially when she purrs. I normally bring her with me when I need the comfort. I just want to feel wanted tonight, even if it’s only coming from a cat.
Her purr sounds like kernels popping, vibrating […]