For whoever was wondering, after roughly six months of not posting, I’m still here.
“Why’d you stay?” you ask?
I fell in love with a beautiful, strong girl.
She’s gotten me through coming out, and she is my strength and my heart.
I still have my episodes, my panic attacks, but she’s helped me through it all.
I don’t understand her patience, her love, or why she is with a mess like me, but I don’t know how I should ever thank her.
We’ve had intimate conversations about self-harming and suicide, and the one day, she took my cutting arm and kissed every spot where my cuts had been. I’ve never had anyone understand me the way she has, and every day I find new things I like about her.
She is the most amazing thing that’s ever happened to me.
I’m not saying it’s been easy.
But now I know I’m not alone.
6 comments
I’ve always been able to talk to people about my suicidal feelings and anxiety. However, even though they said all the right things, I never believe them. So, even when I’m with someone I feel alone. Good for you, I guess, but I’d say this is false advertising.
Same here (: , good to know another person is still alive on here
This amazing girl can and very likely will eventually lose interest. Never rely on others to make you feel your life is worth living. Sorry, but it’s true.
“..will eventually lose interest.” ? Seriously? There are people who have been together for a looong time, probably wasn’t easy but it can happen.. Anyways, I can agree it would be best not to rely on others to make your life feel worth living BUT regardless if you’re happiness was found in someone else, I hope it lasts for a very long time! Even if it doesn’t I hope you can lose your hurt completely so regardless of what happens, in the end you can always be happy. I didn’t know of you before this but I am very glad to hear all is well (:
I used to feel alone no matter who I was with or talking to, whether we dated or not. But with her things are different, she understands and she’s there for me. I wanted to come back and write that I’m okay since I hadn’t written in so long and whoever did miss me on here could see that I’m doing better. If she loses interest in me, I will understand, but for once, it won’t be the end of the world like it used to be because I did rely on others for my happiness. I love her very much, and I would be devastated to lose her, but my happiness stems from the realization that life is more than hating yourself for feeling guilty and not forgiving yourself. I take pleasure in the little things, and I’m thankful for every beautiful moment I get, and I think that is what has sustained me for so long.
No matter what ya’ll say, I could never lose interest of the most beautiful girl in the world. Baby, you’re just, you’re the greatest girl I have ever met in my life. You make me happy when all I want to do is die in a hole. I could have a bad day at school and all you have to say is, “Hello, beautiful.” Or “I love you” and you pretty much made my day. Web I see you, I just want to hug you and give you little kisses on your hands and your cheeks… especially on your wrists… I love you..so very much.. Never, ever think I’ll lose interest..I know I never will, darling..