Damn. I thought I was getting back to recovery but after today I really want to kill myself. My mum says she doesn’t want me as a daughter, although to be quite honest I am used to that, she says it everyday. And then my fucking sister decides to join in and tell me how much of a messed up fucking brat I am. Well I’m sorry. I’m selfish, mean, harsh, not pretty at all and a fucking mess up accident. Why does this happen… Then she started talking about my friends and how one of my friends is the reason I’m messed up. They […]
There is one person I know who would actually care if I killed myself and I decided to tell her about everything… She is 17, one year older than I am and I think that telling her was definitely a good thing. She was upset, I cried and she was shocked because I had never said anything about it. She didn’t really know what to say and asked me “Then… what do you need?” [to get better…] and I didn’t really know how to answer… What do I need? Happiness… But how do I get that? More medication? Going out more? Making friends? Somehow […]
They say you live to give to others but what if you’ve got no more to give? Hm…
When I was 11, my older sister was abused by my parents and police got involved. Because I witnessed it, I had to stay with foster parents for 3 months before I could talk to my family again. After the 3 months when everything had calmed down, my parents started treating my sister as a princess because of what they had done to her and they treated me and my brother harshly. I was jealous, of course, and wanted the attention my sister was getting. When I was 12, I tried to commit suicide with an overdose of sleeping pills because of two things: I […]