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missti sal

back at the bottom

by missti sal 7/21/2015

written by missti sal

it has been many months since i last posted on this website and i honestly thought i was getting better. Then, BAM!!! life gets you down once again and you find yourself asking the same meaningless question : ‘why me?’.

first i lost my family and simultaneously i started to fail my modules and have my bursary tugged away. i keep trying. i keep trying to pull myself up again but i dont understand why i need to suffer so much. so far my career is all i have left but now even that is fading from my life. it isnt like im not trying or […]

7/21/2015 1 comment

at the end

by missti sal 5/15/2015

written by missti sal

it isnt loneliness that i feel anymore, its more than that. its the feeling you get when you realise your life was a lie, when you realise that everyone around you lied. its the feeling of being let down and rejected. where do i go from here? please help me..

5/15/2015 1 comment

sometimes theres hope but then its crushed

by missti sal 5/1/2015

written by missti sal

this has become ridiculous, im not sad anymore im just angry.. why must i bare the burden and fall apart while he roams the night…

i am dreadfully tired of explaining time and time again why i am angry, WHY CANT YOU SEE?! its YOU, its always ever gonna be you. i love you with all that i am, you are my family, my world, my everything, youre all i have left in this life so imagine my disappointment when i hear on more than one occassion from the people in your life that i should watch out for you the most, that youre my greatest […]

5/1/2015 2 comments

this just spoke to me

by missti sal 4/27/2015

written by missti sal

4/27/2015 5 comments

my heart..

by missti sal 4/26/2015

written by missti sal

i tell you everyday how i feel, i scream to get you to look back at me as you walk away. i tell you that you are my strength, my everything yet every cell in my body is telling me that i am wrong, that had you really cared you wouldnt have abandoned me, you wouldnt take away in one day what you had given me over four years and ten months.

i cry myself to sleep every night, i wake up in the mornings unable to pull myself together and face another day. the sun is too bright and the dull days are too soul […]

4/26/2015 2 comments

by missti sal 4/25/2015

written by missti sal

i hate that im in this life, that i suffer so much yet am still forced to pretend like im ok.. I AM NOT OK!!!

i wish i could scream this to the world and finally rid myself of this charade

4/25/2015 2 comments

my story

by missti sal 4/24/2015

written by missti sal

after my first post i realised that as much as i hate talking about what bothers me, i have to… so here goes… this is the reason why i have lost my way, my happiness and my self..

All through high school my parents fought, as much or maybe more than every married couple does, but after a while my dads drinking had gotten worse by the day, my parents stopped sleeping in the same room, they stopped having conversations ( apart from the usual ‘whose gonna pay the bills’ argument), and we stopped being a family.

When i started university and they assumed i was now […]

4/24/2015 0 comment

one of the lows

by missti sal 4/18/2015

written by missti sal

I stumbled apon this page today while desperately searching for an explanation to my constant desire to end my own life. The posts that I have read thus far have touched my heart and soul in ways i cannot imagine, i relate to so many of these posts. As i have just mentioned I found this page today so this is my first post.

I am a 20 year old university student, on the forefront i seem like I have the world figured out and a future most people only dream of but here is the truth: I am alone in this world that has been […]

4/18/2015 1 comment