People say it gets easier. But it hasn’t yet. My first year in highschool has been ruined becuz of my depression. There’s only 2 months left (about) and I feel I’m getting worse. I’m in more emotional pain. My friends don’t really care. They act like I’m fine but IM NOT FINE! I’m hurting… :/ and it sucks. I don’t know if I’ll get better. I hope I do. Cuz I realized I don’t wanna die anymore…. I just want to run away, from everything… I’m pathetic
-RawrImaTurtle..
Ugh!
I hate this! My friends know I’m in pain but don’t seem to care, I just finished puking and bruising myself in the bathroom. I guess they didn’t hear anything. And if they did I guess they didnt care :/ I have great friends hey? Ones who always put me down and tell me all they things I can change about myself… That chewing my nails isn’t attractive. Well my boyfriend finds it cute! So that’s good enough for me! God can’t they realize I’m very sensitive?! My one guy friend can. He told me he’s always careful about what he says becuz he doesn’t […]
Ok so I cry every night. I feel weak, more Hurt, angry and alone and night. And I don’t really know why. Anybody have an idea? Night are just tough on me.. I can’t fall asleep without talking to someone or I just have a nightmare… I’m so alone and I feel so pathetic…!
I want to be done with this! Ugh! Why am I so sensitive? People make fun of me and it takes so much energy to hold back the tears till they leave. I can’t take this anymore!
-RawrImaTurtle…
I was cleaning out my room a bit before I went to school today. I found a blade. I washed it up and just sat there staring at it and finally couldn’t handle and cut.. It was so easy… So easy to do it and so easy to ruin my goal. I haven’t cut in 3 and a half months. I just ruined it. I made a promise to my boyfriend I wouldn’t do it again. I just broke it…. Im lost/broken and sad…. I want to sleep for ever. I envy sleeping beauty!
-RawrImaTurtle..!
Yesterday was Monday. Meaning I had to go back to school after spring break. Ugh! Took Advil to school. I knew I’d need it. And sure enough. I took 3 but didn’t help. I cried in 3rd period but was able to make it to the bathroom without everyone seeing. And then I cried in fifth this time no one saw me.. I just wanted to go so badly yesterday. I wanted to be dead. I’m already dead anyways. Just my body’s still moving. But it doesn’t feel like I’m inside. So I did my research and how to go. But then someone made […]
She painted a pretty pictureÂ
But this picture had a twist
You see..
Her paintbrush is a razor
And her canvas is her wrist
She paints her pretty picture
In the colour that is blood red
While using her sharp paintbrush
She ends up finally dead
Her pretty picture is fading
Quite slowly on her arm
The blood is not racing through her
She can no longer do harm
She painted a pretty picture
But her picture had a twist you see
Her mind was the razorÂ
And her heart was just the wrist..
K so I have this friend who I know isn’t ok. But he refuses to talk to me! Its pissing me off becuz he always helps me and just for once I want to help him. But he won’t let me! Is there something wrong with me? Jsidjrnneidodjsndndijdnrbrh!!!!! My life already has enough shit. Why does he have to do this to me! Doesn’t he know I understand! Why won’t he let me in! I want to be there for him but how can I if he keeps me in the dark….. I knows he’s lost people in his life. So I understand that […]
well its been a while since I’ve been on or written anything. on monday i had my doctors appointment for my physical and mental health… they definitely suggested i go to therapy. tho i am signed up to go. had a blood test so they can figure out whats wrong with me physically. i have this low energy problem or what ever the test hasn’t come back yet. they asked a lot go questions, about my cutting and depression, asked about my sister and how she treats me..
my boyfriend left me a month ago… he came back last monday telling me how stupid he […]
I’ve been listening to birdy a lot lately! i really love her voice and music.. it really speaks to me. if you haven’t heard of her you have to look her up on youtube.!
well this weeks been hard for me.. and I’m not even sure why.. it just seems like everyone leaving me… tho I’ve made a new friend which I’m so thankful for and i absolutely love her for heaping me. tho she may not know it. she is helping me..I’ve been thinking about suicide more an more….. i started puking again…. ugh why am i so messed up??? i badly want to cut… […]
…I’m lost…
I’ve been feeling really lonely lately….. just need someone to talk to like 24/7 or something.(like more than just every so often.) idk.. maybe someone my age or close to 14.. doesn’t matter, girl or boy.. please email me or something. and btw i don’t really care how much older you are from me.. i just need someone who won’t leave. Â thank you
-morgan… rawrimaturtle…
So today I asked one of my guy friend if he thinks I’ll ever find love. He relied “no offense but no”. I’m going to be forever alone… Why dntni just give up now and end my life? I hate the pain I go threw everyday alone! I can’t take it anymore! I need that special someone to help me… My boyfriends always to busy to talk to me….
I hate this pain.. And there’s nothing I can do….
-Morgan….RawrImaTurtle
I can’t keep this up anymore. It’s been a month and a half. And I need to cut! But if my mom sees I’ll be dead for sure.. I need to feel the blade sink into my skin and see the blood come out of the cut…
-Morgan….RawrImaTurtle….
Well today I had my school conference and the conference was only 15 mins. And for 10mins my teacher could not stop talking about my sister and how well she’s doing in cooking. And how the compitision went… Made me feel like crao and useless…
I need someone who won’t lie to me! Who won’t say they’ll never leave and end up leaving anyways… I need someone who will always be there for me… Someone who understands me… I kinda have a friend like this.. But we don’t talk them much.. Maybe like once every 3 days…
-Morgan….RawrImaTurtle..
Found out I have manic depression and I am a bit schizophrenic… Kinda all makes sense now.. Tho idk if I tell ppl they might call me “crazy” or a “freak” and that hurts.. It’s not my fault I have these. If it was my choice I wouldn’t be posting this becuz non of the would be true…
-Morgan….RawrImaTurtle….
I’m already dead… there is no life left in me…. my boyfriend hasn’t talking to me in a week. and i need him the most right now… I’ve been getting lots of head aches so i take advil… but i always take one more pill then needed… i know this probably isn’t a good thing… but i just want all this pain to go away.
i went to see my counsellor today.. we talked about how i have been feeling. i finally was able to tell her how I’m in so much emotional pain and i just want it to go away!
my mom and sister fought […]
well i found out my friend died… i don’t know if he remembered me becuz we haven’t talked in a while.. i hope he does  cuz i’ll always remember him and what he was like and how he helped me… why do ppl i care about always leave?
mt sister still beats me… tho its usually for “fun..”
my mom and dad think I’m getting better, tho I’m not… a few friends help me. tho some don’t… they say they care about me yet they treat me like shit… i wouldn’t mind if they were nice to me when I’m going threw this  or helped me….
i cry […]
the pain has become more then i can handle. i need it to stop! i need it to go away!!!1 please!
i want to kill myself  but i can’t do that to the ppl in my life…. i can’t. but i can’t keep going on like this. i haven’t cut in a while  tho i badly want to!  but i know cutting isn’t enough anymore.
almost every other 14 year old girl in the whorl don’t have to go through this, why do i?  want to die  i want the pain to go away, PLEASE make it stop, please?
-Morgan….RawrImaTurtle
I can’t concentrate. I always think about him. I day dream about him everyday and dream about him almost every night. I’m sad when I don’t talk to him. And he’s the only one who can make me happy. When he’s in a bad mood. So am I. When he’s sad. So am I. I can’t stop thinking about him!Â
Is this love?Â
Like in that one song that goes like “love is what you want it to be. It is haven to the lonely”. I think that’s really true!Â
-Morgan……RawrImaTurtle…
Ps:I sill feel broken inside tho. But not when I talk to him. He makes me forget my […]
i need him!
a guy i like asked my out, i said yes. thought it might help me move on. but all i do is hurt more. and i cant stop thinking about my ex. i need him more then anything right now! he’s on my mind 24/7 Â i can’t help it..
I MISS HIM A LOT!
-Morgan…RawrImaTurtle….
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