I’m already dead… there is no life left in me…. my boyfriend hasn’t talking to me in a week. and i need him the most right now… I’ve been getting lots of head aches so i take advil… but i always take one more pill then needed… i know this probably isn’t a good thing… but i just want all this pain to go away.
i went to see my counsellor today.. we talked about how i have been feeling. i finally was able to tell her how I’m in so much emotional pain and i just want it to go away!
my mom and sister fought again last night. of corse it was surrounded around me… i seem to always be the problem here…. when i make my sister mad.. my mom comes in and gets involved  then it usually is just them going at it.. while i go to my room and cry while i try and block out the yelling.
i just want the pain to go away already! i don’t want to look out my window in the morning and see my yard… i don’t even want to wake up… i could sleep forever… becuz I’m happy when i sleep…
and worst of all…. i realized… i let the nicest guy ever (John) who treated me with respect slip away… i think i scared him away with my depression…. I’m just 2 much to handle… no one wants me… my boyfriend doesn’t even want to talk to me….
everyday I’m getting close and closer to committing suicide… i need someone who will always be there for me….. Â John was for a while…. but not anymore… i have no one! theres no point in living anymore…
-Morgan…RawrImaTurtle…..
4 comments
Hi Morgan, this sounds like you are dealing with a lot of hard stuff and lots of stress from sources that are NOT all your fault! You’re just in a spot, a spot that tons of people are also in, including me, where you’re extra sensitive to these hurtful situations and may feel like you just can’t handle it all on your own. If you’re feeling this way, you already did the Most Important Thing To Do! You reached out and asked for help here online. The next thing to do is find someone in your life who can help you face to face. Think of anyone: a teacher, counselor, relative, or responsible friend that you think is a good person and who is responsible and grownup enough to know the best ways to feel better. When you’re feeling better…THEN deal with John, school, whatevs. If the counselor u saw today didn’t help you feel better, find someone else, and don’t worry about them seeing you cry….life is HARD and all smart & real people know it 🙂 good luck!
thank you.. I’ve really been trying to get better.. i know thatw john always knew how to make me smile.. and he never even tried.. life is just so damn hard
I’m 27 and married now to an amazing guy who loves me “just the way I am” (ever watched Bridgit Jones’ Diary? Hehe) but before I met him I had a few BFs that were weirded out or just overwhelmed by Depressed Me. It was really hard but i knew that the Man for Me was going to have to love ALL of me…for better or for worse you know? Depression is really hard for people who aren’t depressed, to understand. And especially for guys, who are REALLY stigmatized & teased for “acting depressed” or crying…it’s very scary too see grief like that, especially from someone you care about! Our men, the good ones at least, HATE to see us cry…and if they can’t make us stop, they feel worthless and might “give up” …but he’s not necessarily giving up on you, he just doesn’t know how to make it better. And he can’t…only you can with help from folks who know about depression. Life is hard but that’s what makes surviving and living so rewarding. I almost took my own life when I was 15, over someone I wanted but couldn’t be with, and if I had done that, I would never have met my True Love. Hang in ther and keep telling yourself to Keep Going. Keep Living 🙂
Thank you 🙂 I’m going to try to get better then talk to John. I’m glad u didn’t take your life 🙂 it hurts so much tho I’m trying