I’ve been really happy, since about October 2015. That’s when I met my love….but he got arrested a month ago. Honestly, what he’s being charged for, I don’t think he really did it. And if he did, then I think it was just a stupid moment in his life. When I heard the news I wanted to die. I didn’t want to deal with it. I’m in college, have a job(for now, only for 2 more weeks), but love with my mother. And I’m only 17(18 in July). I had finally fixed everything in my life, or most everything. He made, and still makes, me […]
I think that the thing with this site is we all stand together. Personally I rarely see a post where someone doesn’t reply. All of us go through shit, and yet we always reply. And that I believe helps us. Responding to someone else helps us help oursleves. I don’t know if that makes any sense to anyone else…
He said he cared, he said he would never leave. When I tried to push him away he wouldn’t let me. Until he got drunk and his friends saw he had a message from me. Now I lost him. And I don’t know how to cope. He says he needs to work through his things. So i guess I have to hope he comes back once he does. It hasn’t even been a week but it’s been torture. What do I do. Do I try to talk to him? Or do I forget him.
i just cant
I dont know how or why im still alive. I have no use here. Im a stupid worthless piece of shit and noone cares. Im never good enough for anyone. NEVER! and i never will be. because ill always be who i am and i cant change that. but i can change whether im here or not. I dont understand how ive held on this long. Its crazy, all the crap i put up with. But then again, here i go being selfish. There are people who put up with alot more. i dont have it that bad, im just a whiny […]
I don’t know if anyone remembers my last post, titled numb. Basically i explained what happens when i go numb. I cut off all feeling, i am in a haze, it takes so much energy to pull out for 30 min. so i can act okay. But i sink deeper and deeper until i cut, and then i’m fine again. i haven’t cut since March, and I’ve been okay. Until now. I’m starting to fall again, and i don’t know why. The only person i can talk to is my friend Skye, because she the only person i know and trust at my new school. […]
I feel like something is wrapped around me suffocating me but I can still breath. I can barely walk talk Hear see I can barely move at all. It takes everything I have to put a smile on my face and move and walk around at school but that takes alot of energy and I can’t keep that up for more than 30 min. at a time. I am not hungry. So I’m not eating. And yet I am still a fat b****. What I described above is what I feel: numb. I feel numb I feel broken I feel like there isn’t much […]
I’m at that point where nothing matters. Where I don’t hear what people are telling me. I fucked up my friendship with my ex by not telling him something I want to. Every time I almost told him my chest felt like it was getting tighter it got harder to breath and the room started to spin. He knows I want to ask/tell him something and that I’m losing sleep over it but because I won’t tell him he is pissed off at me. I even told him what happened every time I almost told/asked him. My other ex who is one of my beat […]
If anyone ever wants to talk my email is ashleyluvkittens@aol.com
I cut again today. It’s been 2 months since I last cut. I don’t know what happened I was feeling happy one minuete then I just got so upset because I remembered something someone said today. one of my own friends is always complaining and then when I complain once she says all I ever do is complain. and I realized what I think about myself. Every time I see myself in the mirror I feel like smashing it. I’m a fat, fucking ugly as hell I hate myself because I’m a stupid son of a ***** who can’t do any damn thing rightI am a […]
So somehow one of my friends convinced me to talk to him. he got me to tell him everything and now I feel so much better. I still think of suicide but not ad much. I owe it all to him.
I’m not really sure what made me register for this website. it’s just something inside of me made me think that finally I have found people that might understand. I feel ugly fat worthless. I feel like if I die nobody would notice. I started cutting about febuary. I stopped for about a month. then I started again. I want to just take a knife and slit me throat. I want to die. it’s just that noone cares. some people say they do but then they act like I am just… I don’t know. just a peice of trash. they don’t really care. I want […]