as this day passes by ive been thinking on how im going to do it, seems like im gonna take a bunch of pills and go hang myself.. not sure wether I want to go drink with “friends” one last time before I leave my house for the last time around 3 am or not.. wish they didn’t take my gun and that a giant fall wouldn’t mangle my body
I’ve been postponing the inevitable for a long time, but tonight is the night. I will not be waking up tomorrow but everyone else will. I wish it didn’t have to be this way but it is what it is. my mom has an idea and all my friends know im not doing good but no1 seems to care which doesn’t bother me at all. I just think its bullshit that everyone is fine now with me being by myself feeling this but tomorrow everyone will be crying at how much they miss me and wish they could have done something but you couldn’t. In […]
ive wanted to die for many years, but now that im coming towards my demise I cant help wonder why I keep procrastinating the inevitable. I have court on the 16th for a DUI which has already turned my unlivable life into a complete hell. It started by losing my brother to suicide 4 years ago (I was suicidal way before that, about 12 year). then IÂ managed to move on and live a somewhat decent life until I met “her”. the love of my life that I am still in love with 6 months after we split and she moved away. I never wanted kids […]
I read a lot of people who have multiple suicide attempts, I don’t judge but I do feel genuine remorse. I think im different in that ive had one attempt which was nearly successful and had a shotgun as backup but when it was cocked and pointed I said “it don’t feel right yet”. this was Halloween night 4 years ago, my thoughts have not changed I still want to not be alive for as long as I remember (I don’t want to die, just prefer it over living) ive had happiness but still felt this way all except for a few months my girlfriend […]
i wish i had someone i could completely open up to and talk to. not therapists or medical people, not people who “care” and tell me stuff ive already heard. ive lived a life and know that i don’t want to anymore, ive been fighting and trying for 10+ years and i always knew i wouldn’t hit 25. my 25th birthday is in December and im already at my lifes rock bottom and have been here for months. I dug a whole so id have to kill myself. ive been climbing up and down this whole but everytime i go up i just want to […]
first post but ive pretty much tried everything to make myself happy, i just dont really care. I understand that death is a choice and plenty of people choose to end theirs everyday. I am not here looking for help but it really is annoying not having anyone to talk to who isnt going to judge me or try to tell me stuff ive already heard. Ive known i would be the cause of my own death for since a child and almost thought i wouldnt see past 25 (25th birthday is end of this year) and it really seems like i was right, a […]