Rainwatch

There’s always a favourite. It could be argued with complete conviction that every guy has his favourite girl and every girl has her favourite guy. As of late I have had to go grocery shopping on an almost daily basis. During these hellish excursions I found my eyes wandering to a beauty who was always around when I just happemed to be walking by. To my delight I had noticed she could not tear her gaze from mine. Hitherto the oppurtunity to converse with her had not presented itself, that is until today.

One thing I would fear would being an old geriatric in a wheelchair […]

I got back to the underground carpark just in time, 2 hours free and should you go beyond 2 hours it was 20 euro, I drove up to the barrier with 5 minutes left. I was trying to swipe my ticket against the device and nothing was happening, I pressed the assistance button – no answer, I kept trying to swipe the ticket and the 2 hours had been exceeded. Eventually a voice, a voice of a wanker answered “Yes?”. ” Lift that barrier and I’ll be on my way” I said. “Im not lifting any barrier, you went beyond 2 hours, go up to […]

I got a lesson a while ago but for some reason I refused to learn from the lesson, so it was going to be another lesson until the message got through.

I entered a shopping centre from the third floor entrance, an A4 paper prescription in my back pocket. My mind was on other things (suicide) so I cannot claim I was careful enough. Just as I was walking into a pharmacy on the first floor I checked the back pocket and the prescription was missing. I fucking panicked, it had fallen out somewhere in the shopping centre. I knew instinctively that a story involving someone […]

I was in a Chinese takeaway last night carefully checking everything I ordered was in the bag, its all fun and games until you get home and and an item is missing, one has no choice but to check the bag there and then on the counter. Whilst I was meticulously checking the bag item by item a verbal bust -up emanated from the kitchen. ” Fuck you” said a voice from the kitchen, ” No, fuck you” said another voice from the kitchen. The kitchen door swung open and a delivery driver stormed out with what I deduced was the owner in hot pursuit. […]

Many moons ago in Mr.Walsh’s latin class  ” Settle down now, settle down, no horseplay, no tomfoolery, today in the pluperfect tense we shall be discussing the tragic story of Pyramus and Thisbe” said Mr Walsh. ” Pyramus and Thisbe communicated via a crack in the wall of their adjoining houses, their parents forbade a relationship and it ended in suicide”.  The word suicide caught my ear. Even then I could not shake suicidal thoughts.

Some years later I heard of a suicide pact. A guy and girl, both equally isolated, struggling, the usual circumstances that lead to a tragic conclusion. The girl had procured some […]

You can’t even pull in to the drive-thru in Mc’Donalds without a junky panhandling. I was one car behind where you place the order and out of nowhere a junky appeared. “Any change for a hostel mate?”  Said the junky. ” I wouldn’t give you the steam off my piss” I said. ” No need to be like that mate” said the junky.  I decided to call his bluff. ” I’ll tell you what I’ll do, I’ll get you a cheeseburger” I said. ” to tell you the truth mate, I could use a few quid instead” said the junky. I had to admire the […]

I called. I knew by the tone of voice that answered that the news was not good.  ” Hey man, he let me down, his missus got rushed to hospital, he had to mind the child, he’ll drop it off 2moro, definitely 2moro”. I don’t know what annoyed me more, the fact the weed was not there or the concomitant excuse.  ” Right, I’ll give you a shout tomorrow” I said.  This is what you will bump into repeatedly if you do not have the option of physically walking into a marijuana dispensary. Street marijuana can be obtained within minutes and has been interfered with. […]

I went on through to the Doctor’s surgery. A walk – in surgery, me in the capacity of a ‘new patient’, with a ficticious name etc. A very precarious situation, it was now 3pm so if anything went wrong  I was fucked. The Doctor was clad in this Covid style almost space suit looking outfit. Only her eyes and hair were visible. She flipped back her hair with both hands at my arrival so it looked favourable. ‘She’s a little attracted’ I thought to myself, so it stands to reason she will be prepared to prescribe in a liberal manner. I came out with several […]

I have/ had several uncles but two in particular served as a warning of what or what not to become. My Father’s side of the family being rooted in criminality. Criminality as a result of poverty, poverty of a Dickensian level. My Father managed to get out of that cycle early, he met my mother, became a homeowner and managed to do okay in life. Had he not met my mother, married a woman from the social class he grew up in, things would of been different. His brother, who I only met a few times struck me as a charismatic character, not someone you […]

Show him a drunk man says the old proverb, I would be inclined to agree. The aforementioned expression has nothing to do with alcoholism and has everything to do with seeing or hearing your negative conduct displayed by someone else. Only then can one learn.

A perfect example being what I heard outside my office this morning. I was on youtube watching a documentary about suicide, there was chatter outside my office from what I guessed was a group of medical students early 20’s. I was trying to concentrate on the documentary in spite of the chatter. The main part of the group moved on and […]

When I was in school at the age of 14 I caused the following bizarre chain of events to materialize. I could never say why, suicidal thoughts had grabbed me at 14 so that might be the best explanation for my behaviour.

This was circa late 90’s so before the days of instant language translations, effective internet etc. One day without rhyme or reason I decided to write ‘ the green hand gang’ a nonsensical term I had concocted on the spot in various languages except English on school property. I consulted 2 schoolyard chums, fluent in French and Irish respectively about the proper translations. In […]

I went in to pay two traffic tolls. This Blonde was there, not bad looking at all, about 26,I dealt with her before. ” Blondie, how are you? Good Christmas?” I said. ” I’m lonely, I was in bed, I don’t really know anyone” she said. Her honesty was very attractive and naturally the word ‘bed’ had caught my attention. Honesty is a very attractive quality, especially in relations between men and women,  both parties tend to have acute in built bullshit detectors, you try and bullshit the other party and you fail, if you’re completely honest in an uncensored manner you succeed. The best […]

I was shaving. The landline rang downstairs. I heard her voice, almost gullibly saying ” pin  number”. This sounded like one of those fucking banking scam phonecalls to me. I leapt down the stairs like an olympic athlete, three steps at a time. ” Gimme that phone ” I said before she could be do any damage. I had guessed correctly, there was some indian piece of shit on the other end .  ” Hello sir, I ringing from bank of Ireland,O’Connell street, Dublin, republic of Ireland” said this piece of shit. ” Thank you my friend, and there’s a problem with the account and […]

I hailed a Taxi. I fucking hate taxis and taxi- drivers in general, the conversation is usually unbearable. My own car was getting serviced so in a case of needs must I had to get a taxi.

I got in the back, the driver called me by name, then I recognized who the driver was, an old friend from primary school, we were on the soccer team together, then years passed and our paths crossed again when we were 18 and he did me what I always considered a tremendous favour. Over 20 years had passed again. My first impression was he didn’t look good, the […]

Hear your situation/ story and come to the same conclusion, a conclusion at variance with your own conclusion then you’re in trouble.The whole world can’t be wrong and you’re right, never in human history has that happened. Certain problems in my own life that I had to get objective opinions about I always noticed that what I heard back was pretty much identical, it might have been couched in different language depending upon the level of education of whomever I was talking to but the central conclusion was the same. This flipped the problem right back on to me and the fact my thinking had […]

It always tends to gravitate towards bad luck as opposed to good. Good luck you might have one chance in a hundred of experiencing, whereas bad luck has got to be 99% likely to occur. Toxic positivity would declare ‘ you make your own luck’ but in the real world it doesn’t work like that. Outrageously bad luck will happen, like the time Mr.O’Grady walked in to the mapping office.

Many years ago I was working in this fucking racket, any form of employment could be described as a racket and this was no exception. A Mr.O’Grady, a name which has stuck with me as the […]

‘Send me a picture, get my mind off my problems’ I txted. A picture came back immediately, she just happened to be in bed, her face on the pillow, I scrutinized her face carefully, the face is the most important factor for me in terms of attraction. I deemed her face pretty and the fact it was on a pillow swung the pendulum my way bigtime. The marijuana I was smoking said to me ‘ compliment her, that’s the type of face you go for, compliment that face’ which is the absolute worst thing you can do in this scenario, absolutely fucking lethal, sexual suicide. […]

It was only when I saw the coffin with the framed picture of the deceased astride the coffin that the reality of the situation hit me. Four words ‘this is for real’ ran through my brain. I had no emotional investment in the funeral, it was a neighbour, I had attended as a mark of respect for the deceased, so I felt sad for the deceased and the mourning family but unless it was someone I loved I wasn’t going to be overcome with emotion. When I had heard of the passing I felt bad for the family, I recalled the deceased from my childhood, […]

Is a night of hell. I can’t understand how if pandemics are starting to wane and as a consequence pubs have reopened then everything is all right with the world. Most cultures/ nationalities don’t celebrate alcohol/drunkeness in the first place. Most countries don’t have a drinking culture. When I was in South America there was no drinking culture, there was sensational steak bife di chorizio, marijuana smuggled in from the jungles of Paraguay, but one thing there was not was any celebration of alcohol.

A night out, a long nights drinking on the town is a young mans game, 18 to 25, at 25 the time […]

I really think whatsapp has to take the the large part of the responsibility here. Theres something about whatsapp that causes a certain rearrrangement and reshuffling of the brain when it comes to txt messages from a potential romantic interest.

Everything was fine up until last week, txting back and forth, a certain simpatico had been established, She was doing most of the txting and it was pretty cool and then last Saturday I txted and straightaway I felt this vibe, somethings wrong here, shes not txting back. If this had been on another messaging format I doubt I would of cared but theres something about […]