Today I just realized that my husband’s death of 5 years ago may have been a suicide. There was no autopsy because it was thought to be heart failure at the time, and his remains were cremated. But looking back on the events of the last two days of his life lead me to believe that he may have been testing me to see if I would stop him from dying and that I failed the test. No wonder I was so angry at him after he died! He was playing a game with me, and I was unaware of it […]
iwiwd
iwiwd
I am a 57-year old Asian-American woman. I have had two marriages, the first ending in divorce, and the second one leaving me a widow. I presently live with a female roommate in the house my husband and I purchased together.
People stabbing me in the back
Waiting to see me sit on a tack
Feel like putting my head in a sack
I don’t want to hurt you nor make you cry
I don’t want anything, I only want to die
It’s happened so many times before
I’ve slammed shut every open door
Each time I find myself flat on the floor
I don’t want to hurt you nor make you cry
I don’t want anything, I only want to die
I’ve tried to change my ways
But it’s just the way I’m made
And no amount of praise
And no amount of aid
Has helped me in the past
No matter how hard I try
Why must a life […]
That means “I wish I was dead”. I do wish I was dead. That’s one wish that I know will be granted sooner or later. So why am I so impatient? It’s 4:00 a.m. and I’m still on this website, feeding my obsession. I can’t believe what a hypocrite I am, fascinated with the idea of ending my life, and masking it with a religion that promises a life that will never end! Who am I fooling?