You’d think the depression would stop, being 29 weeks pregnant and all.
Waiting and getting ready for that little miracle to arrive.
I wish it was that way for me.
I’m happy to meet my daughter don’t get me wrong.
I just can’t get over the depression her father puts me in.
He has a girlfriend, and has a kid on the way with me in just 11 weeks or less.
Does he give a crap? No.
Does he even try to help me out? No.
Does he even care about his daughter? No.
Everyday I want to give up, the stress is just becoming to much. Everyday, I want to explode. Everyday I cry. But what stops me everyday, from letting go..She stops me. My daughter stops me. I look down at my growing belly. And just think, in three more months, my daughter will be here. In my arms, looking up at me. Her mom. The women who carried her for 9 months. The women who put up with the pain, and sickness. The women who kept going. Me. I want my daughter to always know, I never gave up on her. And I never will. She […]
I am blessed with a baby girl. Her name will be Rayella Zaylynn Martin<3
Her father still hasn't decided to come around.
I'm 20 weeks(:
Half way through my pregnancy.
Rayella loves to moves it seems.
I can't wait to meet her. I am always smiling just by feeling her move. Mommy is ready for you(:
So, my crush, and I have been talking, and hanging out, we just told each other how we feel about each other, but one problem, he has a girlfriend. -_- . But last night, we kissed. He is a really sweet guy, and is always there for me, we were best friends, but falling in love with your best friend just mixes things up. I don’t know what to do, he said he will be the “dad” of my baby. But he is still with, her. I want to call him mine, but maybe he doesnt even care. i’m stuck.
Being pregnant isn’t the worst thing.
Feeling that little life inside you move for the first time, has to be the best thing.
Getting a bigger belly, and knowing your child is growing inside you is also very wonderful.
Yeah, my child may not get the love from his or her father, but his or her mommy will sure love the hell out of them.
16 days, I get to see what I’m carrying inside me. No matter what the gender, I will love you forever.
I’ll always be there for you. I’ll be the best mommy you can ever have, and the only mommy. […]
Nothing makes sense anymore. My life feels like a blur. I can’t think straight. I’m 17 and pregnant, with no one to help me. I just want it all to end. The dad is “embarrassed” to be called a “daddy”. He isn’t the one who has to deal with people’s rumors, and bad talks people say behind my back. He doesn’t have to come to school where every one knows I’m pregnant. He doesn’t have to carry this baby for none months, and deal with the pain, and symptoms, he doesn’t have to go to non stop appointments. I am living in a night mare. […]
Thursday, November 8th 2012. I found out I’m 8 weeks pregnant.
Same day, found out my brother had a full blown drug overdose, no one thought he was going to make it.
I’m 17 and pregnant. The father wants nothing to do with me, or the pregnancy.
Is this part of growing up? I’m all alone. Like always. He used me for sex and this is what happens.
I have to pay, not him, but me.
I hate him so much.
How could this happen. We used to be so in love. Now all I feel is hate..For everyone.
I want to just do whats […]
I know so much about cancer.
so many family members have died from cancer.
And I just found out i have cancer.
im 17 and have cancer.
never even thought it would happen to me.
what do i think?
how do i react?
what do i do??
Should i be scared? depressed? worried? nervous?
I dont know what to feel.
I can’t feel anything…
I cant think anything..
i think to much now..
i cant help but wonder…
why me? why me God?
Did I deserve this? Really?
I’m falling to pieces. I’m breaking. Finding out you have cancer…worst news..
You don’t know what to do..your lost..you feel alone..
You feel sick…you feel empty…
I’m breaking down..
Breakdown..after breakdown..
I feel unwanted. I feel empty.
I feel like I shouldn’t be here.
Like I wasn’t supposed to be here.
I was mistake from the day I was conceived.
Since the day I was born.
Even up until today.
And every day to come.
I will always think “I’m a mistake.”
“I was a mistake.”
Why am I here?
No one wants me here.
Aren’t parents supposed to be there for you?
Aren’t you supposed to be able to go to them when your feeling like this?
Me? Can I? No.
My mom will sit there and ***** at me. She won’t ever comfort me.
My dad?
He’d just yell at me like always.
I’m done.
I can’t do this anymore.
crying everyday… every stinkin’ day is exhausting.
I just am so drained and lifeless anymore.
I’m done being put done.
I’m done with peoples constant lies.
I’m done with peoples shit.
I’M DONE.
Love is fake.
Love is blind.
Love never will be real.
Once your in love they leave.
Thats all they are good at is leaving you.
Guess paybacks a beoutchh .
Eff my broken heart right!?
Would anyone care? If I were to kill myself? Would anyone? I feel like no one would. Scratch that. I KNOW, no one would care.
And knowing no one would care sucks.
It makes me feel worthless and empty.
Unwanted, and useless.
Stupid and ugly.
Lifeless and uncaring.
No one would care.
And thats why I must go.
It’s finally time.
Every bad memory is replaying.
Replaying in my mind.
Over and over and over.
Like my mind is set on rewind.
Like my mind is set on repeat.
Why can’t these terrible memories just go away?
These memories are destroying me.
They are breaking me down.
They are making me weak.
Making me hurt.
Making my whole body ache.
I want to push the eject button.
I want it all to disappear.
Them dreams..
You have, where you feel like your falling.
I feel like I’m falling.
Even when I’m awake.
I’m falling down, crashing down.
Around everything.
Everyone is staring at me while I’m falling.
I can’t get back up.
I’ve fallen.
Whatta surprise.
I’m feeling broken again.
What. A. Surprise.
Someone has brought me so low again.
Who would have thought.. I’d be depressed?
Why not stand up for yourself?
Obviously we are all on this site for a reason.
Why not stand up to our problems?
brush it all off.
Stand tall.
Smile.
Be happy.
No matter how hard your problems may be.
You can still stand tall and show people what your made of!
People don’t control your emotions.
You do.
Don’t let people bring you down.
Just stand up for yourself.
The cuts run deep
The cuts run wide
Criss crossing
in every way
Here, there, everywhere
Up my arm, down my arm.
Skin blood stained.
Covering the cuts,
so no one knows the things you do.
So no one asks questions.
So no one knows how much you really hide.
I choose to hide so much under these cuts.
Behind the smile I choose to put on every morning.
So no one suspects.
There comes those points in your life where you just want to walk away from it all. When you feel like you’re nothing, like you have nothing, like you are worthless, when you have no one. You just want nothing to do with anyone, or anything. You just want to leave it all. You want to go away to where you can be perfect and no one will judge you. There’s times you want to just take everything back, every mistake you’ve made, you just want to take it all back. Yeah, we are humans, we make mistakes. But there’s those mistakes you know you […]
I’m lost. What do I do now?
I am scared.
I’m lost.
I never knew it would get this hard.
When you get that evil person who is out to get you.
And destroy’s your happiness.
Every ounce of happiness I had. Was lost.
Now I’m lost.
I’m in a dark room.
I can’t find the light.
I can’t escape it.
Wouldn’t someone like to help me..
Mom?
Dad?
Grandma?
Family?
Best friends?
How can they help me?
I’m not willing to let anyone in.
I can’t let anyone in.
All people are good for now, is judging me, hurting me, leaving me.. and putting me down.
It’s like I’m a worthless piece of trash.
I see the blood running.
I don’t even flinch at the pain.
The pain […]
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