Wisp

Not suicide related

I saw the person who ghosted me in the game server yesterday (looking at stats on a website), and saw them rejoin the discord server again, around the same time with someone else.

And yes this is the same person who asked me to let them know if I didn’t want to talk to me anymore.

I thought they were my friend…
In a rage I blocked them and the other person who joined the server.

They only make me angry now, I wish I would not see them anywhere…

I’m probably overreacting but I’m tired of people. Especially people like this. Don’t […]

So I know this guy (I’ll call him John) stood up for me when my ex was using bullying names towards me on the video game server.

I know a high level admin (I’ll call him Sam) of the server was bullying John. John is also an admin but he is of a lower level. Sam had called John names and made nasty remarks about his life i.e. ‘you have no life!’. John asked Sam to stop. Sam refused. The next day John confronted Sam. Sam erased the conversation and never apologized. Can you say ‘coward’?

I’ve known John much longer than Sam, even though they are […]

Not suicide related

New online friend ghosted me, not really sure why. Ironically they told me to let them know if I no longer wanted to talk to them…
… well they didn’t do that for me.

Now I’m stuck with only one online friend, won’t be long before she gets sick and tired of me and leaves as well. Sometimes she doesn’t reply to what I write. But I understand. I’m very, very unlikable.

I think I should give up. Don’t even like people anyway. I mean I talk to other people on the game server but they are all acquaintances…

Better that way, don’t have all the […]

It’s hard to not believe that people are laughing at me…

All the so called ‘weak’ people in society get mocked, ridiculed and even bullied. But sometimes it’s more subtle, like… deep down others won’t like you. But they don’t show it.

Why bother trusting people? Don’t do that!

As always, miserable.

I’m not sure I really want to be in contact with them, the police asked me for their details (names) so I gave them the names. That was in relation to my dad’s death.

But I’m tired of people, and I just got off the phone with a relative. I’m sure she’s laughing at how much of a failure I am to herself.

I have no reason to contact my family, really. For what? To talk about dad’s death? Well I don’t need to tell them that. It seemed they knew that he had a drinking problem though.

I just want to be left alone 🙁

But I don’t […]

I just want to go…
I just want to go ..
I just want to go………
Always miserable.

Not suicide related

POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNING (sexual abuse)

Around 2 years ago I met this guy at a beauty salon who acted in a creepy way and did creepy things.
(Creepy things like grabbing me and kissing my lips and touching my face. He also looked down my dress and asked if my breasts were real after looking at my bra down my dress). I felt like a whore afterwards 🙁
(I bet he only asked this as an excuse to look down my dress, nobody could be that stupid, my breasts don’t look fake at all, nor have I had surgery there).

Reviews on Google also […]

Everyone takes advantage of the ‘weak’, vulnerable and ‘dumb’. Yeah, there’s a reason why I put those in inverted commas…

Yes, everyone. It’s just done in different ways. Sometimes it’s rather subtle!

I dislike nearly everyone.

Oh and the last one… if society doesn’t see you as ‘normal’, you’ll be garbage in their eyes.

Not suicide related

I’m so lonely… I’ve been kinda trying to interact with others in the online game, even though the game isn’t there for socialising.
I don’t want others to find out what I’m like though, they’ll probably laugh. I’m useless, miserable and am done with life.

I don’t know why I bother. Most people in this world are needlessly judgemental anyway.
Most people also don’t care about others, that’s just how we are…

I believe that there’s someone out there for everyone. Unfortunately we’ll probably never meet this ‘someone’ in our lives.
They are out there, just the likelihood of ever coming across them is […]

Not suicide related

I wish my mum would take better care of her diabetes, her eyesight already has complications…
on the other hand, the only way to manage diabetes to restrict yourself alot, e.g. following strict diet.

It’s just awful all around.
I just wish my mum didn’t have diabetes.
I see her as a person. I like her as that. She isn’t a ‘disease’ nor ‘diabetes’.

She’s nearly 70, I feel like such a burden. I’ve tried to help her with her diabetes. I’ve tried to get her eye surgery, everything was explained, even pictures of the eye surgery were shown. She’ll eventually go ‘completely blind’.

I […]

I really want to go. Yeah I’ve made up my mind. But I’ll have to keep existing in the meantime.
I look forward to nothing in this life, nothing nothing nothing.
At least I have my mum.

I created an imaginary boyfriend. Yeah I’m pathetic.

I just want to go. Can’t handle all this misery… 🙁
Seems I can’t add a title to posts on my phone anymore. Not sure about my computer, haven’t tried it.
🙁

I just hate where the world is going (I won’t really expand on that here).
I wish I could live in a fantasy world. Real life is awful. I doubt I’d ever want to die in a fantasy world.

I thought it would’ve taken longer to get over my ex. I just ended up putting him in the category of very judgmental people. And that’s what most people are, sadly. My friend is alot less judgemental. There’s a rather small group of people in this world who aren’t needlessly judgemental.

I wasn’t put on this Earth to impress my ex with ‘bettering’ myself.
So I guess […]

Not suicide related
I ended up resolving the issue with my friend. Thanks for replying.

One of the taxi drivers I come across here is rather cute. He lives across the road from me. I went out to check the mail and noticed he was working on his car. Sometimes I think about going over there to say ‘hi’ but he would probably think I’m a creep. And there’s no reason to be trying to talk to him anyway. I can’t even bring myself to engage in conversation with him in the taxi whenever I end up getting one.

I think I should just […]

Yeeeeah I’m a broken record.
I just want to be gone…
My ex isn’t really worth my thoughts. Why would I have wanted to spend my life with such a judgemental person? The world is full of those .
Did I relate to him, really really? I think it was a facade and an illusion…

I have this person I seem to talk to on a daily basis. I’m just sorry about all the suffering he goes through. I can’t help anyone anyway. Just be there…

Again though, this is the only place I can really talk about suicide. Online. Another website as well. People just don’t […]

I still miss my ex, and I can’t deny that he did some good in my life, but all in all, he was critical and very judgmental of others. The world is infested with extremely judgmental people.
I have a mum that cares, even though I’m a waste of space. I’m talking to someone else online on a seemingly regular basis now. I don’t think we can really relate, but we both seem to know that humanity sucks.
I’m so lonely, but so what… I’d rather be… I was travelling in a bus yesterday and overheard judgmental comments. I may overhear judgmental comments whenever I […]

Yeah, I’d really like that. It’s all an endless misery!

Again, I spend so much time wishing this was over. The only actual reason to be alive is for my mum. I have one online friend, 2 others I’d say are acquaintances.
I don’t even like using the word friend, but I know I’ve used it before, and this person considers me to be their friend (who the heck would want to be my friend? I’m an idiot…)
Those 3 people will be completely fine without me. One has a boyfriend, another seemingly has a few friends, and another, I’m not really sure of.
I had a chance 2 years ago to not screw up […]

Ugh I’m probably just annoying this person I’m talking to online, and another I’m talking to online, and my online friend. I seem to have pretty similar views on society as one of them though.
I want to go. I sound like a broken record. Everything is completely pointless. I like mum, I don’t really care about much else. I wish I had never been born.

I don’t like how society is anyway. It doesn’t help that I’m a mess.
More often I see people posting about on various sites things like: “we slave ourselves our whole lives and then we die”
“society tells us to […]

I wouldn’t mind this…
Knowing that my ex is going after married women is a great birthday present (sarcasm).
Someone told me. I’m better off not knowing about it. I’m not really surprised but idk… I think going after married people is sleazy (unless they somehow all agreed to polyamory).

It would be easy to think that I’ve dodged a bullet. Women going after married men are just as bad.

But yeah. Happy death day more like it. I plead for this suffering to end (not only because of my ex).
If you are somehow a regular reader of my posts (I’m sorry if anyone reads them) […]