Don’t tell me it was fate
Don’t say the bird eats the flies
Don’t say the flies will eat the bird when it’s dead
It’s not karma
Giving and receiving in a voluntary manner
Isn’t karma
You won’t find the dead
With a hole in their head
And have them do the same to you
An innocent passerby
So don’t say it was fate
The snake won’t leave
Screaming
Suffocating
You can’t remove what you placed
Muffling your screams
In this ocean
Nothing but bubbles escape your mouth as you suffocate
Don’t forget how all this happened
Don’t ever forget how that snake got there
Coiling around your insides
Your heart
Like a disease
A manmade disease
That you placed yourself
And yet
Like a fool, you keep smoking
And screaming
And suffocating
how does it feel to be on the other side?
I wonder
I can ponder
I can ask
But there’ll never be an answer
I wish I knew how this scale works
How this cycle is never ending
How you’d end up on the other end when you weren’t before
How I can find a solution
I wish I knew
How it feels to be on the other side
I don’t like
Having to witness this
I can’t
Get the courage to tell her to apologize when she’s in the wrong
she might turn around and yell at me. I dont want that. I’ve had enough of that
How can I make myself better. How can I be good enough to not be yelled at. To not be looked upon in such manner
I hate it
I hate it
I hate how she hits them for a reason that she believed to be true, but wasn’t. And doesn’t apologize but continue to yell and hit for an extended reason that justified the initial one. […]
I wasn’t there before
Yet here I am
And yet, I am both there and not
I was receiving, you were giving
Another one bites the dust
And here I am giving and you’re receiving
I wonder
I ponder
When did it begin?
How does the cycle start anew?
There is no such thing
As fate
Seal the wound
Seal the wound
Seal the wound
The wound isn’t for salt
The wound isn’t for spit
The wound isn’t for pepper
The wound is to heal
The wound is to learn
The wound is to conquer
The wound is the epitome of beauty
Shut your sparks
Clean those knives
Toss the bandages
Take a walk in the park
Let the wound heal
Don’t throw knives at the wrong assassin
Don’t throw knives at the wrong assassin
At the wrong
Assassin
At your own assassin
Don’t throw knives
At the wrong
Assassin
Now shut your sparks
we live in a world someone else imagined
and I’m burning to dust in this twisted world
More than the fires below us
within us
Don’t come looking for me when I go missing
After you’ve sought to retire my flames
I’ve turned but I don’t want to hurt you
Close your eyes, look away
This fire’s all but vanished
Yet it’s burning, freezing, engulfing, neglecting
Close your eyes, look away
Why did you have to break the doll I loved so much?
The doll I made that moonlit night in ecstasy
Silly girl. I never meant to call you out.
It was plain to see the malice underneath.
I believed they saw as I did, a precious pearl
I believed they’d trade their bones for sapphire stones
Just for you
They said they love you
But they only want to cage your soul
Let me break their chains and set you free.
Don’t! Silly girl. Stop desiring the forbidden
And remove all that has been bound
Free yourself
See the other you
Those of you you’ve encased in those wretched dolls
It doesn’t matter what I do!
You have no say! […]
tell me, tell me
in these new lands
we’ve just settled
our little civilization, flourishing
We’ll become something big someday
We’ll become something big someday
They all say
A few decades pass
We’ve learned
In these new lands
Disease goes untamed
Weather unpredictable
Death left and right
Crops fail
Monsters lurk in the shadows
And war
War breaks out
War breaks out
Between the settlers
Between the noblemen
Between man and monster
Between settler and land
Between animals
War breaks out
War breaks out
It just makes us wish we weren’t here
Wish we didn’t have to suffer
Wish there were no monsters
Wish there were crops
Wish we didn’t have to antagonize about death
Wish the weather could be tamed
Wish there were no diseases
Wish, there was no war
Our little civilization is no longer flourishing
We […]
This pearl of mine
This pearl of mine
I dove for I’ve cultivated thus far
However, I’ve clearly done it foolishly
This pearl of mine
This pearl of mine
How you’ve cracked and dirtied
Yet you shine so bright
Yet you sparkle like the stars
This pearl of mine
This pearl of mine
How could I have been so blind?
How could I have been so blind?
You’ve cracked, yet you sparkle
You’ve dirtied, yet you shine
How foolish
Was your cultivator’s mind
How blind
Was your cultivator’s eyes
burn my skin
burn my mind
burn my heart
make me blind
Red and yellow
Red and yellow
Red and yellow
Red and yellow
The colors so warm
The colors of our bodies
Red and yellow
Red and yellow
Red and yellow
The colors so warm
The colors so mellow
My dear fellow
Why so fearful?
If only my heart wasn’t my own
If only my heart wasn’t so soft
If only my heart was a sapphire stone
I can walk everyday
Without fear of losing my way
I won’t be afraid of anything going away
I won’t ever scream
I won’t ever suffer
I won’t ever suffocate
From the cigarettes
From the coiling tendrils of the snake
If only my heart was made of stone
i never mess with my hair or try anything new
because whenever i do
…
…
…
so its better not to
but then i see you so carefree
i want to be, too
for the time-being, i try a little something new
and when times up, i hide
but sometimes, im too late
and they find out
…
…
Wearing your heart on your sleeve
For all to see
You’re a fool
Making a fool of me
I’m standing here in the shadows
Watching you crumble And scramble
To put yourself back together
Standing here, watching you
Bleed from the inside
A fool with her blue heart on her sleeve
Only a fool
Would go out of her way
To clear her day
For someone else
Only a fool
A stupid kuudere
Would go out of her way
To get others to stay
By throwing herself away
And at the end of the day
You still wonder
Where they’ve all gone
And if they cared even the slightest
I overheard a conversation between my younger sister and her teacher and it kind of struck me. “Kinda nice to have an older sister and younger brother at home to play with during this time” I couldn’t help but think back to the time before my siblings. Just me and my mom, alienated from the rest of the family. Would I have gone mad as a child? Even in our neighborhood, I had no friends. I was the only Asian in the area and my neighbors treated me as my family did. But maybe that’s why I’m the way I am now. Solitude is comfort […]
y’know, maybe i should be working on the assignments i said i would instead of letting one email get to me like this. But I can’t. I already put this up on a vent channel elsewhere but I deleted it because my friends were on there and I felt like such a bother. I mean, the person who got me here was me and me alone, why should I involve others like this? Then again, I just really wanted to get something out there other than keeping it in my mind and have it tear me down. I’ve always felt better after getting it out […]
sometimes
I just feel like I want to die
I know, I was called a useless ***** again and again two hours ago for an entire hour and didn’t really feel anything
Suddenly, two hours later, I’m tired as fuck and just want to die
Out of no where
who the fuck says i deserve counseling when i didnt give it my all
This is just something really short since it is a simple question : is there a positive way for me to talk about my issues with my friends? I mean, recently, I feel as though all I ever do is negatively rant, vent, and complain to them. It completely contrasts with the way I represent and deal with my issues. When I become suicidal, or upset even, I don’t want to worry nor bring others into my problems so I show my sadness as happiness. I dance, prance, and sing in a manner that makes them truly believe I have entered my “usual” ‘hyperactive, energetic, […]