I’m so sick of having to be strong for everyone. No one seems to understand or care. What’s really wonderful about it is, I’m fine with it. Really. I’ll smile and hide the hurt in my eyes. Whats new about it? Everytime I try, so very hard, to be who they want me to be. I’m sick of hoping, sick of waiting. I just want to end this. I know I cant. I must live for other people, if not myself. What I meant by being strong, is just letting everyone curse me browbeat me all they want, because I dont want to hurt them. All […]
I look back at my life and I realize there a lot of things that have happened in my life and I’m not sure why. My dad left us. I had a childhood infatuation with a boy who liked my best friend. MY grandpa fell sick. Mom and I moved back in with Dad, and Dad is always trashing me, telling me ot b more useful. MY grandpa died. I got addicted to cutting. I tried swallowing too many pills. I tried drugs. I survived. I fell in love with a guy who liked another. He now tells me not to trust anyone, after I […]
Ok, here I am after countless attempts to end my life all of which failed because I chickened out at the last moment or because of well…. fate. Yes, after all that’s happened I still believe in fate. If I ever succeeded in killing myself, this would be my note:
Hey Mom and Dad.
By the time you read this I will probably be gone. I couldnt leave without saying goodbye could I? I wont make it long, Mom; I know how busy you are and how little time you have. Let me start off by apologising for being the biggest disappointment in your life: it’s not […]