So, I’m glad to say I’ve regained all of my hope that I lost the other night! I feel refreshed and invigorated after this morning’s workout. I would just like to thank everyone who has continued to give me support in some of my darkest times. I may feel so alone in life but it’s reassuring to know there are still caring people out there who will take the time to read about my situation and give some emotional comfort. I’m grateful. I’m also still on a high after acing my Astronomy exam yesterday! Even after all of the stress I was put through the […]
Wow, talk about an emotional roller coaster. Yesterday I was on top of the world. Even this morning I woke up refreshed and feeling as if I had so much hope guiding my eyes that life didn’t seem all that bad. My therapist yesterday told me some of the most meaningful words I’ve ever heard. Most was what I really needed to hear. It was a bunch of positive encouragement, good job on getting this far and keep making beneficial gains for yourself, you’ve gotten so far and you should be proud. She also proceeded to tell me that all of this drama/tension between my […]
I feel desolate. My mind has lost all of the positive light it had gained within the past 2 weeks. Well, I’m here again, at the same place I was a few years ago. I’m supposedly back on the right path, doing everything right or so they say. I’m constantly busy, tired, and thoroughly occupied each day. Between work, school, and training for my next racing season, you’d think there wouldn’t be any time for my depression to suffocate me, right? Wrong. I’ve been suffering so badly lately and I’m sure it’s only going to get worse as the holidays are circling around me. I […]
I know this is ridiculously long and most of you won’t care about what I have to say. That’s okay. I just needed to release some depression somewhere. I’ve been feeling worse and worse lately even though I know I’m trying to head in the right direction. I just needed to vent some frustration. I always say I’m doing this for me, changing for myself, but it still kills me when my family shows me how worthless I am… so here are my thoughts for the past week.
I’m amazed at how well I’ve become at wearing a mask. I’m able to conceal my emotions so […]
I’m so tired of trying. Every day is the same. This endless depressing cycle keeps repeating itself. I press on, fail, and end up in the same place I started. I’ve tried so hard for the past 9 years. But everyone just see my failures, not what I’ve achieved or how hard it is for me to survive another day. I feel worthless. Empty, defeated, and alone. Everyone is always wanting me to change, to be doing something else, to be somewhere else, to be someone else. It’s frustrating, I’ve changed so many times, I have no idea who I am anymore. And what good […]