silent survivor

Well i guess the title says it all, i’m just here the for same reason a lot of you are here for. I wanna lend an ear, i wanna be someone that will listen and be there for you guys through all the stuff you’re going through. I’ll try to give any advice or feedback that i possibly can but i just want you people to know that i’m here for you. The awesome thing about this is that it’ll be easier because we’re not talking face to face and i know for a fact that sometimes that can feel a little weird or awkward. […]

Well on the 27th i was on my way to school around 8:15am when i was hit by a bus…yes a BUS and i survived, at first it was no biggie thank god it was only turning a corner so it wasn’t going fast enough to kill me…i think? Anyways i got away with a minor head wound, bruising on my foot even though the bus ran over it alittle,no bones were broken and scrapes on my ear where the bus had it me. Everyone’s been telling me how lucky i am to even be alive or to be standing and stuff and at first […]

Cherry flavored pain killers, how you tempt me so bad
In your plastic, cylinder container
You sit on that shelf just above the kitchen sink
Taunting me, calling for me
Whispering in my ear “Come, come for me”
A whisper that only i can seem to hear
A whisper so subtle only the sick minded and neglected can understand this strange dialect
You hypnotize me with those reassuring words “You know you want to” you scream as i attempt to resist the urge and walk away with my head lowered to the ground

Cherry flavored pain killers, how you tempt me so bad
In your plastic, […]

This quote made me think that maybe that’s what it is,maybe get depressed and break down because the pool over flows. It kinda makes sense doesn’t it? Maybe depression is that moment when everything gets flooded and it’s hard to fix all that damage after you survive and suicide,suicide is when you just finally drown in everything. What do you people think?

I accidently cut myself while i was shaving and i couldn’t help but notice how fulfilling it felt to watch that stream of blood pouring down my leg and i swear i could have watched it forever if i didn’t have to get out of the shower. I finally understand what cutter’s mean when they explain how alive you can feel by seeing your own blood. Don’t get me wrong though,i will not start to self harm because of this.

Sometimes even i-the happiest girl in the world- wants to fall asleep and never wake up. I relapsed for the 3rd time this year,i cut on Tuesday and yesterday which means i broke the promise i made to my friend, she can’t find out. One of my friends are weird and for the past few days she’s been keeping a tight grip around my wrists-which really hurt-because my body tends to be warm all the time and i keep her warm i guess but thankfully she doesn’t turn my wrists to the other side. These cuts are halfway up to my elbow. Psh and i […]

It all started in Middle school and well i guess i’ll tell youvpeople everything from the ery beginning.

6th Grade- The beginning of the year was great,i was actually alittle happy and had a group of friends which i limit to 5 people,i had many skeletons in my closet at the time like the sexual abuse i’ve been through in the past but other then that i was a “normal” kid. In the middle of the year and towards the end my mom and her boyfriend started fighting EVERYDAY and they were loud and violent let’s just say the fight never ended wothout something breaking and […]