breaking_the_cycle

Why don’t you let it all crash down?

This crumbling house of cards you’ve built around yourself

Let it all go to waste

Like the life you’ve thrown away

Well caring was never really your thing

And motivation just wouldn’t sink in

Oh baby don’t you know, how this is all going to end?

Falling to the ground , you’re more lost than you are found

A life full of regrets, with no reason to impress

This life, falling down

This life , crashing to the ground

 You wake up each day, […]

Why can’t you see the futility

Why can’t you see, this is killing me

All this effort to stay alive

With so little time to make it right

The weight of all my woes

Makes it easier to slap this tag on my toe

So break it, shake it, un-make it all

I close my eyes and I start to fall

Silence my pain, and erase my heart

Rescind everything about me, right from the start

No memories, of this life I’ve misused

No regrets, from all the abuse

Now the blackness is closing in

The pain I feel today,

Will be tomorrow’s end

Broken words stumble off my lips, littering your mind with hollow truth / Everything is fine, really, I’m just confused / Memories made of searing flame, pierce my soul with deadly aim / The slow burn of defeat, ashes fall as I weep / Inside this abyss, the embers of my core drift away, torturing my solid state / This pain is real, make no mistake /A prey to grief, I seek the shelter of expiration; the cataclysm of my desperation / My will to fight consumed by apathy, the familiar taste of failure returns to the back of my throat / My […]

Watching my life, like a slow motion disaster

This merry go round starts spinning faster and faster

And I can’t help but feel, like the walls are closing in

And my bright side has now gone dim

I’ve felt this way for so long,  but everyone says, I’ve got it wrong

Well, this disaster is epic in scale

And now I’ve set myself up to fail

Two steps forward, one hundred back

No strength in me left to attack

I swallow my pride and this mouthful of lies

I’d tell you the truth, […]

I close my eyes just to see your face, remembering the sound of your laugh/Such a beautiful life, brought to such a terrible end/There’s no use trying to pretend, I know now what has to be done/Can you ever forgive me? I try to speak to you in my dreams/But you can’t hear my voice, above your scream/I can’t escape these feelings of remorse,/I can’t heed their advice, to stay the course/My sense of direction always pointing to self rejection/It all gets better with time, oh it’s such a lie/I can’t hide the pain streaming out of my eyes/I try to take a step in […]

Harrowing senses of guilt and despair fill my mind with bitter persistence / Helpless in the wars I wage against myself, I’m a casualty of my own existence / Death always seemed so far away, now I’m closing the distance / Lacking an explanation for my degradation, I lash out in frustration / Ready to step, off the edge, I fill my thoughts with memories of you / I pour out my sentiment and leave it hanging on the wall / The crowd gathers round, witness to the fall / I dive right in, my eyes wide open / What’s left of me, distorted and […]

The pain in my eyes, hidden behind a fractured smile /Crumbling away after years of misuse / Now beyond repair, my soul shattered, by neglect and abuse /I slip under the cover of silence, into a world of self-inflicted violence /Breaking down, under the weight of my mistakes, I look for a way, to unseal my fate / And this won’t go away, no I can’t escape / Trapped by the choices that I’ve made /Searching for answers that can’t be found / And now I can’t hear your voice, over the sound of my world crashing down / No I can’t see your face, […]

Hollow, empty, broken, bruised and confused /Listen for the sound, of my heart breaking / This would all make sense, if you spent a mile in these shoes / Strapped to my feet, like ‘anchors aweigh’ /I can tell you don’t care by the look on your face / Walking away,  like I’m the disgrace /You know it’s hard to swallow, when I’m choking on lies / Keep on feeding me, you know I won’t fight / My back still hurts, from holding this knife / Keep piling it on until my chest explodes / My mind goes blank and my breath is cold / […]

Beneath the waves, I start to collapse /The world outside is moving so fast/I’ll take a breath, and hope it’s my last/The water fills my lungs, and mutes my screams/I know I’ll see you again, in my dreams/So take a breath, let the pain flood in/Wash away these tragic memories/The time I spent, trying to survive/Such a waste, I’ve never been alive/So take a breath, let the pain flood in/Waves of redemption to carry away my sin/Slipping deeper into the abyss/I never knew, what it was to exist/This will all be over soon/Carry me, down to my grave/And bury me beneath these waves/I breathe in […]

Cast out, like yesterday’s trash
There’s no hope left, for you to grasp
Living this life, full of contempt
The powers that be, labeled you exempt
Your body, ready to collapse
There’s no time now, for you to relax
The world left you cold and rejected
Your soul cast away and neglected,
And they all denied,
The things you felt inside
Now’s your chance, to wake them up
It’s your turn now, to fill the cup
All eyes on you, as you race for the exit
The pain inside constantly resurrected
Let them know your pain, let them hear your voice
The emptiness, that left […]

Watching the sun fade behind the hills
I’m waiting for you, as I eat these pills
The wind at my back and the sun on my face
You know, it’s such a beautiful taste

I know I promised, not to lose my faith
But it’s so hard, dealing with this pain
Sanity seeping, out of my head
You know I’ll rest better, now that I’m dead

Forget it all, let it fade
A time when I, had seen better days
The smile I wore, hid the fear inside
A time when I knew, that I would die

Don’t look back, don’t be afraid
The past is gone, it […]

A gunshot rips through the night,
It looks like he’s lost the fight,
The only thing he ever wondered:
What does it feel like to die?
You’ll find out soon enough, kid

Staring death in the eyes,
Wipe the tears from your face,
Will it help to say goodbye?
I’m sorry for this,
I’m sorry for that,
Will it even matter when it’s over?

Let your voice be heard
Through the blade, the bullet, the pill

Before she makes the cut
She’ll wonder what it feels like
For her life to slip away
Her soul weak and torn,
Can it be reborn?

Those eyes read like a book
Without […]

Hollow eyes,….. and a broken smile…,
All that remain,……Of a once happy child
The love,… that created me,……Wasted,
On my useless,…. empty soul
No feelings inside,…….This calloused heart of mine
Holding on to,……. a dream that isn’t real
A whisper in my ear,……. the only motivation that I need
To wreak havoc on myself
With no one to blame but me,………I fall now…to my knees
I’ve lost all hope,……….I lost my faith
With my head in my hands,
I plan my escape
I’m fading fast,…… can’t you see?
The years of  pain……,hiding in these eyes
There’s no time left,… to feel alive
So erase my […]

Suffering, every day

How could I know, this is the price I’d pay

Always the one, to make them laugh

It feels so good, knowing I’ll have the last

And I’m not faring so well

Deep inside this personal hell

We all find ways, to ease the pain

Looking for a reason, to walk away

My feet planted firmly, on the ground

I’ll leave this world, without a sound

Endless nights of tormented sleep

The nightmare inside, destroyed when I leap

And I’m not faring so well

Deep inside this personal hell

We all find ways, to ease the pain

Looking for a reason, to make us stay

Follow your heart, listen to your mind

There’s nothing left, when you leave us […]

I long for silence. An end to the tempest inside my mind.  A place where quiet reigns and pain fades away.  A silence unlike any other.  Almost as if it were an auditory black hole. Pulling  my pain and suffering away into oblivion.  Created by the explosion of the star that was my soul.  My life fades into the darkness that consumes.  Soon there is nothing left but silence.  A quiet so loud it could shatter the stone that is my heart.  This isn’t what I dreamed. This isn’t how I thought  it would be. The silence is tearing me apart.  I grasp for a […]

This overwhelming sadness casts its shadow across my life.  Burying my hopes and dreams in waves of pain. There’s an emptiness inside of me that could swallow entire worlds.  Every time a wave recedes and some semblance of hope shines through, another wave comes crashing down to destroy me.  The fatigue of keeping my head above the water is setting in.  I’m ready.  Ready to sink to the depths below.  Maybe there’s another world down there.  Somewhere that this life doesn’t exist.  But that’s just another dream to entice this already tired mind.  There’s another wave approaching.  I welcome it with outstretched arms…