I’ve been having more suicidal thoughts than usual lately, and I’ve actually been thinking of ways I would want to go if I ever decide to off myself. Cutting isn’t an option; I’m too scared to harm myself, plus that would be extremely painful and messy. Hanging myself is off the table too, since I’d probably never work up enough nerve. My thoughts have been drifting towards drowning more often than not. I think that would be the best way to go for me. Although, I am terrified of the ocean/any body of water, I think I could make an exception. It would be easier […]
I’ve been so angry for the past two days and I don’t really know why, I just have this rage inside me that’s extremely hard to control. I’m becoming more violent and my already small amount of patience is dwindling to nothing. All day I’ve felt like punching a wall, or punching someone. My skin feels tingly when I’m angry and I’m not gonna lie, it feels good. I feel like I’m invincible and like no one can touch me. Three nights ago, my girlfriend temporarily disabled her Instagram account and I was really worried and I spiraled down so fast, and ever since that […]
I’ve been feeling weird for a day and a half, and it’s slowly starting to get to me. I’m not a self-harmer, but right now I want to cut myself so bad. I want to feel pain. I’ve always been someone who is against self-harm and thinks that it’s “stupid”, but right now I want to feel something other than this emptiness and sadness. I’m not scared, I don’t care that it’ll hurt.
I have school today, and I really don’t want to go. I feel like complete shit this morning. It’s taking all of my energy to move, I’m forcing myself to type this out. I just feel… empty. I’ve always been terrified of death, saying that I’d never kill myself because I don’t want to die, but lately the thought of killing myself and writing out suicide notes has popped up frequently. I’d still never do it, too scared and like I said, terrified of death, but it’s affecting how I act and think. I was doing fine, getting better, but a few months ago I […]
I’m just physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted almost 24/7. I barely have any motivation to do anything, not even to move around. It’s getting worse and worse, and I’m falling so fast it’s scary. It’s a struggle to get through each day. I don’t know what to do. I’m in therapy, I have resources, I have support, but…? I don’t know, it doesn’t help. Even now, typing this, my eyes hurt so much and I know I need to sleep but I’m too sad to move. There’s also the problem where I’m paranoid that there’s something watching me when I’m in my room at night […]