I’m just so tired.

I’m just physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted almost 24/7. I barely have any motivation to do anything, not even to move around. It’s getting worse and worse, and I’m falling so fast it’s scary. It’s a struggle to get through each day. I don’t know what to do. I’m in therapy, I have resources, I have support, but…? I don’t know, it doesn’t help. Even now, typing this, my eyes hurt so much and I know I need to sleep but I’m too sad to move. There’s also the problem where I’m paranoid that there’s something watching me when I’m in my room at night and in certain places in the house, even with lights on, so I avoid going to bed for as long as I can. I’m so fucking tired of everything. I hate myself for being like this, I hate myself for being so fucking depressed. My counselor’s already suggested medication a couple of times, and so has my mom but not as nice as my counselor did, but I don’t feel like I need medication. I’m fine. That’s a lie, I’m obviously not fine. I don’t even know where I’m going with this post, it’s my first one and I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t want to feel tired anymore. Even if I get a good and full night’s sleep, I still wake up feeling extremely tired and it continues all day. I thought I was ending this post but apparently not. I want to die.