Everyone could get what they want. I wouldn’t have to live like this anymore and no one would have to know I’m gone.
If I make more then 1 everyone could have their own me…
Nothing is for me. Nothing is mine. Not even my own life.
Quitting is for my passion now. I cant improve my palate if im destroying it.
I can tell that theyre unsettled and have yet to be laid to rest.
Theyre the prisioners rattling their chains.
Silently screaming to be heard.
To have understanding.
I hope one day they will be able to rest peacefully…
(For anyone curious or my future self reading this, its about my memories.)
“When we, as clinicians, respect and honor confidentiality, our patients feel safer to explore their problems.”
“The Mental Health Act sets out several reasons that a person may be held as an involuntary patient. The two most common reasons are:
The person is a danger to themselves, another person, or may unintentionally injure themselves, or
The person’s condition is deteriorating and they require hospitalization.”
By having this Mental Health Act, doesn’t it collide with the confidentiality part?
I don’t understand how you can say that we feel safer to explore our problems but then force us to watch what we say. Yes, we are suicidal, that’s how it […]
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“You didnt notice, whats it matter?” Exactly that is what matters. The fact that you think you can get away with something just because i didnt notice. And the fact that that was just a lie, doesnt help.
You were protecting my ego?? Please, if i have an ego at all, it because of you. And you should have been more concerned about my trust issues, because i trusted nothing and questioned everything before. Idk if you can have a negative but id there can be a negative in this situation, you found it.
I had a nightmare. I had agreed and you had said you “knew […]
you say im not “too needy” but you just dont know. i mean how the fuck does someone say “pay more attention to me” without it coming off wrong.
i asked you to at least react, why havent you?
why do i even bother talking to you if youre not going to talk back?
i dont want any friends…. go away
I dont need some fucking asshole telling me about my emotions. Last i checked youre not me, how the fuck do you know who i hate and who i dont. Even better who the fuck are you to dictate who i hate and who i dont. I fucking hate people that try to tell me shit about myself. Just fuck off. Youre not me. And im positive if i tried to dictate your life that youd get pissed off at me so dont fucking dictate mine. Ill hate who i fucking want and youre on that list.
To start with… Extreme emotions. To me, it’s like no one else has emotions. Everyone’s so… Blah or meh about stuff. It makes sharing or talking difficult because I’m not getting the same energy in return so it feels like they don’t care. Even telling myself “it’s ok they do like it they just aren’t like you” doesn’t help much.
Then there’s the needy thing like I mentioned in another post. you haven’t messaged back. Why haven’t you messaged back yet!? And it doesn’t matter it’s only been a minute. They’re probably doing something, chill. But BPD doesnt care. It never cares. You can speak all the logic you want, […]
If you put someone with schizophrenia on an island, they will still hallucinate.
If you put someone with BPD on an island, the symptoms will diminish significantly.
Why shouldnt i be alone??
Good question.
I feel confined to be what you are, when really i am so much more.
But when i have to sit there and listen to you being a judgmental prick…. Its a little difficult to honestly feel like i can spread my wings.
I sit there and listen to you bash people that use discord and twitch….. But im one of those people. Youre insulting me.
Yeah, sure, i love you, whatever.
And you want me to fucking be open with you….
I feel so needy. They say its fine. They say its not annoying them. They say they dont mind. But i cant shake it….. I wish id just shut the fuck up.
I feel like this disorder makes me stick out. I can be standing perfectly still in a crowd of people all dressed the same, and ill stick out.
within a few hours ive had 4-5 triggers. i just started calming one down and another one pops up.
why the fuck would i want to continue living through this!?
6
People seriously fucking suck. Including the “smart” ones thats suppose to know shit!!
I’m getting so tired of reading everything negative about bpd.
They can point out its mood swings, emotional instability but it’s always fucking negative shit people talk about. You know it effects happiness too. IT’S RIGHT IN YOUR FUCKING SYMPTOM LIST!!!!!!!
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its so much easier to be alone. i cant hate myself if im not bothering anyone. i cant be triggered if nothings being said/done to trigger me…
its easier without people…
i read. learning what i can about whats wrong with me so i can better understand it and have a better chance at “recovery”.
but the more i read, the more it hurts, the more i hate myself. the more i question why.
why shouldnt i fucking kill myself!!!???
im constantly faced with reasons why im better of dead and the best reason to live is because ill be missed…
im hurting. literally! my body aches, my depression makes me nauseous, my head hurts. i cant fucking live like this. no one should be expected to live like this….
“You’ll probably be given several telephone numbers to use if […]
My medication “helps”. When im off my medication its like a hurricane. My depression is loud and more outspoken. People know when im not ok but im more difficult to help. On my medication im quiet. I have nothing to say. “Im fine”. But im still thinking suicides whats best.
Off my medication im happy talking to my friend. He makes me so high im floating on clouds. But on my medication i settle for the fact that my “husband” is trying to change, even though conditions still apply and he still annoys me. I have bpd, i cant be hiding things. I shouldnt have to […]
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The feeling of everything caving in until it explodes….