It really sucks. I can spend my time playing video games or watching TV or anything like that. The pain won’t be there. As soon as I have a free moment, it comes flooding back in. I’ve found something that helps though. It just isn’t a solution I want to be true. It makes me feel better while we are talking, but I still feel the pain. The pain definitely is still there even though I feel good at the same time. The only difference is that I don’t feel the pain when we aren’t talking. My life is relatively happy now. If I go days […]
My mind was unrelenting last night. I couldn’t stop thinking about her no matter how hard I tried. Based on the past couple of days, I know we can be happy together now. I know that all of our problems are gone and we can be the couple that she always wanted. I told her it would take time, but now the time has come. And she doesn’t want to see how much I truly love her. The pain just kept building last night until I was back to wanting death more than anything. I know it’s going to keep happening and yet I look […]
I could almost kill myself out of happiness right now. I’m on the phone with her while she is going to sleep. This is how we used to always be when we were together. We were 1000 miles apart but we had such a strong bond. There were countless nights of me talking her to sleep and not hanging up until I knew she was asleep. We had a video chat that lasted 12 hours one time. God I love her so much and I dread the day that somebody else comes and takes these nights away from me. It’s just the fact that I […]
So we were finally talking as friends again and she said something that absolutely killed me. But it made me so happy at the same time. She asked “didn’t you know?” And so naturally I said “know what?” She sent one simple message. “You are irreplaceable.” 🙁
I have come to a conclusion/realization. If you have been hurt by the end of a relationship with somebody that you loved, this won’t be the news you want to hear and most certainly isn’t a happy idea. You may think it’s the end of the world because the one you love is gone. I know that’s what I thought. There was no convincing me that I should continue living. All I wanted was the end. Quick and painless, slow and painful; I didn’t care. I wanted an end to the pain I was in more than anything. I finally came to a realization though. […]
I can’t stand my own thoughts right now. I know that I want to move on and be able to live without her, but I can’t bring myself to believe that I will ever want another person. Every time I try to convince myself that I can have a life with somebody else she always comes back to my mind. I’ve never had these difficulties with anyone. I’ve never had any difficulty letting another girl go when the time came. This one just was so perfect. I mean, she had her flaws but I loved every one just the same. She exceeded everything I could […]
So I was wondering if my tendency to hurt myself could be considered a positive or at least non-negative behavior. I have been in many situations where I was prepared to commit suicide, but I started cutting or punching myself. The pain always ended up overriding my will to go through with the suicide and I just continued until I was left crying myself to sleep. I can’t think of how many times the cuts and bruises have saved my life. I am so confused on whether I should be happy that hurting myself has saved me or not.
Well I’m trying to comment on people’s things here and I really feel like I can help myself and others by sharing and talking. Unfortunately all of my comments are requiring moderation. Anybody know why?
I was dating the most amazing girl I could ever have dreamed of for a year. We used to call things ama-zing and that’s how I always referred to her. We had been good friends for a while before we started dating and I always had a crush on her. I never thought that she would actually go out with me, so I never tried. One day she confronted me and told me how she felt and I was so confused. I completely blew it and acted like I didn’t feel the same way. About 8 months later I finally got the courage to tell […]