The Conclusion

I have come to a conclusion/realization. If you have been hurt by the end of a relationship with somebody that you loved, this won’t be the news you want to hear and most certainly isn’t a happy idea. You may think it’s the end of the world because the one you love is gone. I know that’s what I thought. There was no convincing me that I should continue living. All I wanted was the end. Quick and painless, slow and painful; I didn’t care. I wanted an end to the pain I was in more than anything. I finally came to a realization though. My life with that person was over when they  left me. There was nothing I could do. If they no longer wanted me to be the one that is there to love them, then I could not do anything. Yes, they told me they loved me before they left. I do believe that they were telling the truth, but I don’t think it was enough anymore. I know that they will still have a huge place in my heart for the rest of my life. If you have loved somebody like this, you won’t ever find something like that person ever again. Don’t try to fool yourself. You have to accept that the relationship you had is the only relationship that will ever be like that. This doesn’t mean, however, that you won’t find happiness again. With time, you could find somebody else and have a different relationship that makes you just as happy or happier.

I personally don’t know that I want to find somebody else. I almost just want to live life alone now. And you may decide that it is the best path for you, too. I know that I am perfectly happy being friends with my ex-love. To be perfectly honest, I still want them and always will. Being friends is one of the most difficult things because you still experience the person’s personality. You still see all the things that you fell in love with and all the cute little things that made you smile. But you have to accept that you aren’t the one for this person anymore, even if they are still the one for you. Once you finally fully realize everything that I have said, it will hurt. It is possibly going to hurt even more than when they left. It’s not going to be the same hurt though. It won’t drive you to the cutting or to the pills or to the alcohol like before. So please, if you want to kill yourself just give it some time. Your life might not be worth living at the moment, but it could very well be worth living in a week or maybe a month. Maybe it will even take a couple years. Just remember that you need to live your life for you. Now that they are gone you can’t live for them. If you think that nobody cares about you then you are wrong. I care and I’m sure there are others that do also. If suicide is truly the only way out for you, it is your choice. I just hope that you take plenty of time to think about it first.