I’m a 14 year old girl. I cannot blame my depression and other emotional problems on other people. Although, yes, based on others’ actions & words, I slowly morphed into a very gloomy person. But i take full credit because I let it all get to me instead of staying strong like most people suggested after sharing my feelings. After starting elementary school i realized what a cruel world i lived in. Exclusion and judgement had me go home frowning. “Don’t talk to her because she’s ugly,” they’d say. I began growing out my bangs then covering a majority of my face with them. Insecurity […]
unnecessary
It’s been months since the last time I held a knife close to my forearm
I had kept myself distracted and persuaded myself into thinking cutting doesn’t help at all
but personally
i don’t feel as numb once my skin has been detatched
at least, temporarily
and it sucks
uncertain if i should attempt to
Because it brings much more harm
Than it brings good
Questions swirl
Why am I so depressed?
Why am i so angry?
Why am I so ugly?
Is it the weather?
Every little dilemma?
When should I start again?
Dad said i have a “shitty attitude”
My brother says I ruined everything for him
Guys are always criticising my appearence
And I’m not the friend I used to be
At […]
Sixty seven cuts
mouths open in disbelief
interrogating me
but conversation doesnt help.
They all know the culprit
But they still judge.
Yeah
go ahead.
give me another reason
to go to sixty eight
Never fathomed this would be the path I follow
Never knew I could stoop so low
Only I and he who had been involved would know
Because then only such a reputation could grow
Initially simply fooling around with a boy
Just an experimental joy
Suddenly I become a constantly used toy
Innocence – destroy
Pride in decisions transfiguring to remorse
Once hopes and goals blow off coarse
And he uses plentiful force
To do what none other would endorse
Just thought it would help me from my already broken heart
But it all seems to be tearing it even more apart
Who can I go to who […]