I’m in a relationship with an ex of mine and i’m really happy, im smoking less, getting stuff done and having my own life while with this girl and she has hers, it seems to work. I feel the happiest I have in a very long time yet my anxiety is the worst it has ever been. Every time she tells me about her life and there is someone else she was into in the story i feel so insecure. I know it’s normal to talk about past relationships, it just hurts. And i know i’m an asshole for feeling that way and i don’t […]
Everything in my life seems to be going great. I am looking at colleges and can go wherever I want pretty much because we can afford it so i’m very lucky in that way, I have a job where i’m outside doing physical labor which I love, my friends are great and I have very close meaningful relationships. Yet despite all of this just because of one girl my entire world seems to be falling apart. It has been what seems like 5 months since we broke up, but I just can’t find that sense of comfort I had in that relationship. At this point […]
My girlfriend, well ex girlfriend, broke up with me about a week ago. I’ve had relationships in the past where i have been broken up with and i thought i loved those people but this one hurts so much more. Her reason was because she felt like she lost her self worth, not because of me and she said that i deserve the world but she needs to focus on herself. My last 3 ex’s broke up with me for pretty much the same reason. They all said that i was great and it’s not my fault but all i can keep thinking is what […]
Cut again today for the first time in 6 months i think. It felt really good and i had to stop myself from going over board. I just am starting to get in a relationship and i feel awful because i know she deserves better. I don’t think i am ever supposed to get better.
Today is my birthday, for some reason i dont feel happy. im not sad but i wanted to cut. i think i just resent being alive
A girl walks by the pond. she looks up at the trees and sees the different colors of the leaves. the wind making the tree wave. she waved back. everything was finally peaceful.
I was talking to my friend today about this and he said that yea I have been an asshole lately and he knows that’s not who I am but everyday I have to try harder and harder not to do something offensive or be an absolute dickhead. I don’t know why I used to always think of myself as the nice guy but for some reason I can’t help it.
I don’t like to talk a lot. In school or out. I have 3 friends because I pushed everyone away and now I don’t know how to talk to people. My parents are so focused on me not smoking that they turned the house into hell. I feel like i’m constantly under attack. When I walk home I get scared to talk to my family. I can’t tell if i’m happy or sad or scared or angry but I know i’m breaking someway. I so bored with my life that I want to kill myself just to have something to do. I can’t focus […]
I like the feeling of it running across my skin.
I like the deep rich color.
I like the scars that it leaves behind, the look, the feel.
I like the stains it leaves.
I like the pain it brings.
I like everything about it.
But I hate myself because of everything I do to see it
If I went back to who I was, what is the worst that could happen. The old me was so happy just living. Yet for some reason i’m scared of being normal again. It’s been years since I was happy just being alive and going through the motions of life. Then it took one girl to unravel my life, that’s bullshit and I know it. Still there’s something holding me back…
I’m so in my head lately. I eat pretty much once a day but not cause i’m trying not to i’m just never hungry anymore. I don’t do anything all day unless I have school but other than that i’m alone in my room all day. I can’t seem to get out of my head. I’m scared of what people think about me constantly and I wish I just didn’t care. I don’t want to die but I just am so bored with my life and I don’t know what to do. Even when I do go out of the house I only have 3 […]
I think I’m going insane, I can’t think of anything but hurting other people and hurting myself. I have people I care about and I don’t want to disappoint them but I can’t get the thought of blood out of my brain.
simple as that
ima kill myself and i just thought that maybe somebody should know, so now you all know.
I’ve been drinking, i’ve been getting high. and all this time i wonder if i did the right thing. sure shes happier and has moved on but i havent. but it doesnt really matter what i want because she is more important even though i hate myself for loving her. who cares anyway ill just tie my noose and jump off my roof. life is messed up and it isnt worth it. im so done with all this shit.
i found a new girl, we have been talking for a bit but i think i’m getting to deep to quick. I flirt with her even without trying to and i can’t stop myself. I think i’m breaking her because i’ve started cutting again. I need to break it off but i dont know how. Someone please help me.
if i killed myself tonight who would really care?
Been on here for like the past 24 hours and slowly realizing i have no hope for getting better i’m pretty much going to always be sad. I need to get off this site and sleep, but everyone seems to tell their story when they first get on and i haven’t done that yet so here we go.
Hi, last year was the first time i cut myself and fell into my deepest depression yet. I had always been sad and felt as if something is wrong with me, hell i can’t remember 6th grade because of how painful it was. But anyway at 13 i […]
I miss you. I miss the way we used to be. I miss how we met up every night. I miss being around you, feeling you graze my skin. I miss the way you kept me warm in the winter. I miss how you used to calm me down and tell me things are going to be alright. I miss how you made me happy and how you let me use you whenever i needed relief. I’m sorry that we can’t see each other anymore. People don’t want us together. They don’t want me to get hurt anymore. People who love me want me to […]
Little girl don’t you understand
Mommy killed herself and is never coming back. Daddy drinks and hides his pain by beating you. Your brother takes pills and other drugs to keep the picture of his mother falling off the chair out of his mind
Little girl why don’t you get it
Mommy and Daddy never loved each other. Mommy never wanted to be alive. Daddy never wanted a girl. your brother never wanted to be gay. He never wanted to be different
Little girl can’t you see
Everyone you love doesn’t love themselves
Little girl don’t you know
one day you will be just like […]