My girlfriend, well ex girlfriend, broke up with me about a week ago. I’ve had relationships in the past where i have been broken up with and i thought i loved those people but this one hurts so much more. Her reason was because she felt like she lost her self worth, not because of me and she said that i deserve the world but she needs to focus on herself. My last 3 ex’s broke up with me for pretty much the same reason. They all said that i was great and it’s not my fault but all i can keep thinking is what am i doing to make people feel like shit. Why do i destroy my loved ones. At this point all i can think about is cutting and dying and i know these feelings won’t last but the pain in my chest is becoming to much for me to handle.
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Hey, sorry to hear about your break up. I know its easy to blame yourself for how your ex’s feel, but from what I see, it doesn’t necessarily seem like your fault. They all told you you’re amazing, so maybe it wasn’t your fault at all. Maybe they really had other things going on in their lives. But even if they felt drained “because of you”, it would also partially be their fault for not telling you the truth. At least, that’s my perspective on things. I hope you’ll feel a bit better soon, I wish I could give you a hug.
Thank you that means a lot
I know this feeling very well. It’s hard when your “type” mostly consists of emotionally unstable people, people with a hard childhood, people with trauma, etc. I promise you it wasn’t your fault. A lot of people have to pull themselves out of a happy relationship because they realize that they’re using it as sort of a band-aid instead of addressing/processing their mental illness/issues.
My most recent relationship (and also the healthiest I’ve ever had) ended similarly. He wasn’t stable, and he didn’t feel like he was able to live up to his own expectation of being a “good boyfriend” (obviously I had a differing opinion, he checked off every single box for me). But he did it in person. He sat down and let me cry about it. We both cried. Neither of us wanted to break up, but being in a relationship was aiding him in ignoring the mental health issues he needed to address.