so i have been battling my life for the past 8 years. tonight is the night i say goodbye. im done. im tired and feel that i am ready.
Today i found myself gazing off into the sky wondering why am i here? my team was practicing and i was on the sidelines due to an injured foot and i thought to myself its the same bull shit everyday. i put on a smile, tell everyone that i am happy, that im fine. but its all a lie. really im thinking to myself, can today be my last day? i want this pain to end. i hate repeating this stupid cycle over and over again. i’ll be happy for a few days then be back where i am at now. everyday is the same […]
I feel the end is near. for the past 5 months i have been thinking about suicide. I have tried 3 times with every attempt ending in failure. all 3 attempts i have tried hanging myself and i get scared right as i start to black out. Im scared of the unknown. Im not religious but do believe that there is somethin out there that is greater than this shit hole of a world we live in. I find myself wondering if the relgious people are right. If i commit suicide will i burn in hell for eternity? or will i just simply be dead and nothing […]
The pain i feel is unbarable. the person i loved cheated on me with one of my teammates. they are now together and they rub their relationship in my face. i thought one was a friend and the other my love. i was wrong. I hate going to practice seeing their relationship. they have no regard of my feelings. I would quit, but i love the game to much and i love my teammates. however, all of this has pushed me back into my hole. I wanted to marry this person but instead im now thinking about what is wrong with me? why is it […]
I find myself day dreaming about ways to die. what methods would look? what the person that finds would see and how they would react. I know that suicide is selfish and a horribble thing to do to family and friends but i dont care. I dont care anymore. I have been thinking about suicide since the age of 14 and im 23 now. So many times i tell myself life will get better soon and the hell that i am in wil surcome and i will be free. this has yet to happen and i just keep going through a battle with myself and […]
what is the purpose of life? i have found myself asking this question alot in the past year and haven’t found the answer. i wonder why some people fight to stay alive, while others fight to get out of it. i know the majority of people who commit or try to commit suicide have a chemical imbalance of some sort and their brain reacts to situations differently. but at the same time there are people out there who have experienced horrific things and yet want to live. why does a 89 year old want to live and a 14 year old want to die? […]
i have been suicidal for 2 weeks. i feel like i am losing my mind. i cant think straight and i have lost a sense of sustainablity. i want this nightmare to end, i want to be done with this cumbersome task of trying to be happy.
last week while standing on the chair with a rope around my neck, trying to find the courage to step off, i thought to myself ” wow i am this fucked up.” i started to think about all the wrongs in my life and what has transpired over the past couple of months, that make me want to […]
im a 21 female in college. i have been dealing with depression since i was 14. i recently have gone through some emotional battles. i have developed insomnia due to the amount of stress i have encumbered. i recently had a failed suicide attempt. i thought i was strong enought to deal with my emotions, since i have been in therapy and medications for some time. I guess not. I hate being in this dark world and the light feels like it is a thousand miles away. i just want to give up on everything so i dont have to deal with life anymore. i […]