Author

Wanttogiveup

Just a random guy who hates himself Email: j.t.ninefeldt@gmail.com I'm always willing to talk, so if you need someone to listen or anything email me

Its too much

by Wanttogiveup 12/21/2015

written by Wanttogiveup

I’m killing myself before I go back to school. How? I don’t know. I just know I am. Everything is just adding up to being a crappy year. I’ve had so little to hold onto. Depression has hit me like a semi truck, anxiety the wheels that ran me over. School is terrible, I pushed my friends away, my ex gf got cancer, and to top it off, we were supposed to go on a skype date but she fell in love with someone else. So yeah. I have nothing. No will to live.

To my friends: no. This was not your fault. Many of you […]

12/21/2015 2 comments

Try it

by Wanttogiveup 11/29/2015

written by Wanttogiveup

Hello everyone! I hope your Sunday I’d going well. I just wanted to say that if your day isn’t going great, then talk to someone. It doesn’t even have to be about what’s getting you down, just talk to someone who makes you happy. I find that there are certain people who just cheer me up just by being them. If you know of a person like that, I encourage you to talk to them. And if for any reason you don’t have a person like that, talk to me! My email is in my bio description thingamadoohickey. I’ll talk to you (:

I know this […]

11/29/2015 1 comment

…

by Wanttogiveup 11/27/2015

written by Wanttogiveup

So…hey there. My name is Jayden…I’ve been on here a couple times, gotten help from some amazing people. Then I thought my depression and anxiety were gone so I selfishly felt I didn’t need to come on this site anymore. I’m sorry. That was selfish and rude and despicable in my opinion. But before I go on a 5 page rant on how much I hate myself, let me catch anyone who listened when I was originally here up to speed.

The girl who made my depression seem nonexistent dumped me.

I have effectively pushed all but 3 of my friends away

The last friend who helps me […]

11/27/2015 10 comments

)’:

by Wanttogiveup 10/14/2015

written by Wanttogiveup

Hello everyone…I haven’t posted on here for a while. I sincerely apologize for my lack of absence…I said I would try to help people but I just left. I thought I was better…but I’m not sure anymore. I’ve been always feeling like I’m never good enough. I’m not good enough for school, I’m not good enough for my family, I’m not good enough for the ex girlfriend I still love, I’m not good enough to for anything. I don’t know what to do. It’s handicapping me from doing anything I want to because I’m positive I’ll screw something up as usual. I keep trying to […]

10/14/2015 1 comment

Random thought

by Wanttogiveup 10/5/2015

written by Wanttogiveup

So the thought came to me today that I’ve posted 3 things about my problems but I haven’t done anything to try to help others. So I decided that I’m gonna help someone today, i’m gonna try to help a persons problems seem easier to manage. And…I couldn’t. I scrolled through a lot of posts but couldn’t think of what go say…maybe what I said was actually good and i am just being too hard on myself, or maybe what I said was actually pretty poor advice. We’ll never know. But I figured this would be a good alternative. So, what I want […]

10/5/2015 38 comments

Laughter

by Wanttogiveup 10/5/2015

written by Wanttogiveup

It’s a weird thing isn’t it. For example, browsing the internet and seeing a picture that’s kinda funny, but nothing that really warrants more than a quick sharp exhale out of your nose. But you see it and laugh a little…and then keep laughing. You forgot how good it feels to laugh, the feeling of joy no matter how brief. And you keep laughing and laughing to the point where you have to bite your tongue so you stop looking weird. But it doesn’t work. You haven’t laughed in so long because of the problems in your life, but here you are, giggling like a […]

10/5/2015 2 comments

Ugh

by Wanttogiveup 10/3/2015

written by Wanttogiveup

Okay so I’m going to be ranting for a bit. If you read my last post, you might remember me saying I met someone a while ago who helps me with my problems. Last night, I was feeling really horrible so I texted her because talking to her always cheers me up. But she kept reading my texts and not replying. So I just moved on, thinking she was busy. Then one of my other friends showed me a picture of a conversation between her and a guy. The guy kept asking her for nudes. She has been exploited in the past for nudes from […]

10/3/2015 12 comments

Thank you all

by Wanttogiveup 10/1/2015

written by Wanttogiveup

Okay so I just really quickly wanted to say thank you to everyone on this site. My friend had to ask 2-3 times just for me to join this site. I was reluctant because I expected people to ignore me or call my problems stupid…I’ve kinda grown to expect it from bad experiences in my past. But the amount of support I got from people who have never met me is…astounding. I’m determined to not let my depression and anxiety define who I am, but I never knew where to start. This is a good place. I don’t know if this will be the indefinite […]

10/1/2015 5 comments

Sorry for the discombobulated mess

by Wanttogiveup 10/1/2015

written by Wanttogiveup

So…hi everyone. My name is Jayden. I…deal with a plethora of problems on a daily basis. I have panic attacks very often and nightmares that make me cry nearly every night. I’m socially awkward…my friend had to ask me quite a bit just to post on this site. But regardless of all my problems…I met a girl who seems to make them all go away. The first time we talked on the phone I didn’t even have a nightmare that night. She means the world to me. We even had an LDR…but it ended after a couple months. But she still helps me with all […]

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10/1/2015 10 comments

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