Author

whereareyouolga

my life as i know it

by whereareyouolga 5/21/2014

written by whereareyouolga

I have difficulties expressing myself through writing. so I’m just gonna do it like this.

– I panic inside my body cause I feel claustrophobic. My body aches all the time and I have a constant headache and chest ache.

= I. just. want. out.

– I have no interest in a future what so ever. I don’t want to study, meet new people or get married and have kids. I have not had a moment in years and years that I could feel happiness and joy.

– I am not interested in anything. No hobbies that can take my away from the pain just for a […]

5/21/2014 2 comments

The wall

by whereareyouolga 3/19/2014

written by whereareyouolga

Where do you find the strength to go through the day? Do you work/go to school, clean your house, walk your dog and so on? Over the last 2 years I have been running between school and work and just 2 weeks ago I all the sudden decided to not get out of bed. I called my boss that I had enough and got one week of sick leave. I quit school and now I’m just lying here feeling beaten to death. I have been depressed since my teen years and thought it couldn’t get worse. But that was nothing compared to this. No strength […]

3/19/2014 5 comments

the devil inside of me

by whereareyouolga 10/15/2013

written by whereareyouolga

I suddenly went back to square…. -100. My throat is pulsating of pain and everytime I swallow it feels like acid running down to my stomach. My breath is heavy and I’m aware of every heartbeat.

A few moths ago I visited a psychic in the US (I’m from Europe) and she said that I am cursed and I’m never going to get well from my depression. I cried the rest of the trip. Some weeks ago I visited Greece. A random older lady came and took my hand and started coughing. She told my bf I have the devil inside of me. This I […]

10/15/2013 7 comments

selfish things

by whereareyouolga 5/12/2013

written by whereareyouolga

i’ve been down since forever and this spring i’ve had enough. I feel trapped inside my heavy body and canÂ¨t wait to get out. i avoid social situations but my BF has many friends and sometimes they come to our place. I mostly hide in my bedroom and he’s ashamed. But I can’t stand social situations. I start crying. Everyone’s looking weird at me and I’ve lost them forever, I will always be the weird chick that started crying. I hate it when my bf says i don’t try hard enough and that he’s ashamed of me. My dad used to tell me […]

5/12/2013 1 comment