is been nearly 2 days and I still feel sluggish, like I wanna sleep all day. Ugh still guess I’m detoxing but my health anxiety is coming back. I’m so afraid I did perminate damage.
I actually cried tonight, thinking about what happened over these past three days. Did a lot of psychoanalysis on myself. As you all know, Thursday night I started drinking cooers light. It’s the only alcohol my aunt will allow me to have. The problem is, I sober up to fast. The bigger problem is that I feel like a monster when I’m sober but when I’m drunk all my worries go away and I can be myself (in a way). I get scared of sobering up because I know that once I do, my problems will come back.
That night, I said screw it and decided […]
So I got my beer on Thursday. It was cooers light so it wasn’t as strong as I wanted. Around midnight, I decided that I’m gonna see if I could commit suicide by train. Drunk, I walked to the railroad tracks then headed right down them, waiting for a train to come. My love was on the phone with me the entire time. I fell several times during all this. With no train in sight, I began sobering up enough to were I didn’t think I could go though with it and decided to go to my dads instead (which was on the way). I […]
i think it’s beautiful. It’s a deeper genre of black metal that seems to fit right in with how I’m feeling. If you wanna take a listen I’ll give you an example of my favorite – http://youtu.be/6YedXRq3Pbo / http://youtu.be/FWWCiZ0lLOo / http://youtu.be/xRYyCBoKslE
i love her and she’s like a mom to me. BUT she disagrees on my stance of wanting to die. She knows what I been though. I finally broke and asked her if she could by me that Max Dog ******** cylinder with an exit bag IF a year has passed and I still want to die and I try extra hard to better myself, do more therapy, eat better and continue losing weight, get my licens, and even admit myself into a psyche ward for a couple weeks 6 months from now.
She was shocked but said she don’t know. Sounds like she may even […]
PROS – 1. No more mental illness, 2. No more constant worrying, 3. No painful natural death in the future, 5. No more addictions, 6, no more rejection because I can’t function as a normal adult, 7. No more of this world weighing me down with consequences and obligations, 8, I’ll have a choice!, 9. I’ll never suffer again, 10. I will have no wants, impossible or unhealthy ones.
CONS –
im 31
As a political and social philosopher, I developed many ideas over the years – education and prison reform for example, which I may talk about later, among many other ideas. What I want to share with you all today is my vision on bioethics and how my ideas should be turned into federal law.
My ideology on bioethics has been inspired by secular humanism, suffering abolition, emerging technologies, futurology, and above all, choice! Let me give you some examples of what I believe should be turned into law.
1. Euthanasia for the terminally ill or severely handicapped should be a constitutional right.
2. Euthanasia for the mentally ill […]
Just as 1+1 will always = 2
Death will be the result of you
Suicide, natural causes, it all leads to black
No god after life, a cosmic kick in the nutsack
I don’t get it! I guess it’s a control thing. Society wants to keep terminally ill or mentally ill patients alive, yet abandon them. I seen it in my personal life and in others.
i want to focus on the mentally ill for this rant….
If your mentally ill, your friends will leave you, loved ones will blame you, you will be judged, ostricised, and forced into social isolation. But if you try to commit suicide and they find out, they will come back around just long enough to send the white coat fascist after you and lock you up against your will as if your a […]
I just stumbled upon that term today. I read up on nihilism before but Existential Nihilism basically holds that life does not have any real meaning or value. I started looking up nihilism when my aunt accused me of being one. When I read about it, it seems to follow my thought process. I see it as more of a neurologically built in philosophy
its famous, liveleak.com released all his videos. It’s about a 21 year old dude that’s so obsessed with Bjork that he documents 8 months of his life to his plan. He builds a bomb, sends it to her address, than comes back and shoots himself on camera. It was back in 1996
I don’t understand why individuals have this drive to have “life” insurance. The person paying into it is going to be dead by the time it can be used. Let’s be honest – you can only give money to the living.
I understand that the insurance is mostly to help pay for funeral expenses. but why must we have a traditional funeral for our lost loved ones? Why not have a free get together to remember them buy?
Now for cemeteries – why even have them in them in the first place? They take up space that can be used for something tangible. Gotta do something with […]
my aunt drove me to the store and only let me get 2 6 packs of cooers liight and two 24 bounces of cooers. This is an evoltuion from last week when I only,got to get two cooers lights. Here is the kicker, I. Offered 22 dollars, mower dude to give me 24 ounces of natural ice.he delicered’!!’!!!’!! Give me liberty or give me death
I remember back when I was 19 years old, there was this big “civil rights controversy” that started in Florida where a Muslim woman wanted to have her drivers ID taken while fully covered in a burka, which covered every part of her face accept for her eyes. The far left jumped right on it, and bleed for her. Also Muslims are allowed to pray 5 times a day at work. These are not equal rights, these are special rights given to people who are religiously delusional. I don’t discriminate since I’m an atheist. These are not real rights!
i know someone near and dear to […]
the official name has not been solidified but my constitutional amendment proposal has. It has 5 main points.
1. Euthanasia should be an absolute right for those who are terminally ill or severely disabled (such as quadriplegics). This rule should also cover children who are dying as well. It must be there choice.
2. Euthanasia for the mentally ill should be an absolute right for people who agree to take a 30-90 day stent in a psychiatric hospital for intense therapy. If the mentally ill patient still wants to end there lives, than there wishes should be granted.
3. Euthanasia for criminals should be a choice for prisoners […]
I look up to a deep blue sky, yet all I see is gray
An airplane flies overhead, I wish it was the Enola Gay
Fat Man, Little Boy, why must you keep me waiting
turn the sky Crimson red, and leave me evaporating
first off, let me start off by saying my poems are eccentric, absurdist and surrealist. Sort of if Salvidor Dali, my favorite artist, was a poet. But i poems also point out social issues and truths that adds crypto-humor to them. This one is suspose to be read like a military drill.
“Plight of the Native Americans”
PUT THEM ALL IN COWBOY HATS AND TEACH EM ABOUT JEBUS
TAKE THERE LAND FOR YOUR OWN GAIN, SPREAD IT WITH DISEASES
MAKE THEM LICK THE TRAIL OF TEARS AND DESCRIBE THE TASTE IN ENGLISH
NAME ALL OF YOUR STATES AFTER THEM, ONCE THERE TRIBES ARE FINISHED
SMALLPOX, SMALLPOX
JESUS, JESUS,
SMALLPOX JESUS
The meaning behind this […]
Personally I’m all for it! As long as it’s voluntary
Welp I wanted more alcohol but my Aunt the Conqorer said no! I had to get 1 12 pack of cooers motherfucking light. Since alcohol is the only thing that brings me joy, it’s very important to me to get drunk off my ass at least once a week. She is also controlling my xanex intake, which I use to sublimement for alcohol,
I tried to explain to her that I no longer want to live and gave up. I told her this many times before. She said, “well if you would have killed yourself in 2009, you would never have met your wife”. Well she’s […]