I just cant explain it, I feel like I used to be so much more as a kid, so much better as a person. I used to like what I was, self respect and self trust were still real. I really hate who I have become, I used to think I was a diamond in the rough, now im deffinately not. Im still such a hipocrite. So much thought, I got my hands on a nice amount of great weed so ive just been stoned for 3 weeks now but hey, I figured out a method to keep from ever running out, so heres to […]
On the search for finding truth, how can you recognize the truth as truth, if you are searching for something that you don’t know?
My best friend stayed with me for 20 days, We were high the entire time laughing and listening to the radio, and watching cartoons, when he left it smashed my heart in half I was just coming down and the whole thing felt like I time warped through it all. My plan was to kill myself after my friend left, I made the most of the time but now the moment is on me, it warped so fast I cant believe it. Even seeing the names of any shows I watched with him makes my heart clench up, He doesnt expect it, I didnt realize […]
Nothing is comfy to me, everything burns me. Thinking about past friends makes my heart break and thinking of all that could have been, makes me burn inside. I have the problem with no solution. The withdrawls are making the seconds which usually feel like minutes feel like hours. Waiting for nothing constantly. Still cant accept that I have to kill myself even though I know it. Maybe the doctor was right, the symptoms of feeling sick everyday are somatic, either way I feel it so real or not, its real. I feel fadingly disconnected from my own mind, I feel like I need to […]
I’m back for a short while, is anybody I know still here
It really feels like my brain is corroding, I shake my head violently in some sad attempt to “wake up” I feel like i am always trapped in a dream state, spacing out. Been physically sick for around 2 years now, unsure of what the cause is, ive been to many doctors, had many tests done, they cant find anything. what can i do if I still feel sick constanly but doctors cant solve it? what else is there to try? ive gone through my head endlessly making lists of the symptoms and trying to put together some diagnosis but I cant figure it out
Seriously? Thats just wonderful
I feel like a slave against an invisible enemy, I feel so controlled and contained. Once you are beaten down nothing has to hold you down, to keep you down. I feel so lost, there has to be an answer. If I was in a prison, or a slave I would know who my enemy is and plan and fight, but I feel like I can’t distinguish what the hell is going on. Am I free? I can’t answer that, I don’t really know. If anybody knows anything I really need to know.
I have a seriously sick mind, I am so fucking glad mind reading isnt real! I am not a bad person though, because I might think fucked up things but that doesn’t mean I would ever do them.
Question time, ask me a question.
I a blocked in at all angles: too depressed to do anything, too anxious around people to have any social contact, although I am painfully lonely, too pessimistic to see anything good, too high strung to ever relax, too damaged to function, and I feel sick all the time, my head and stomach always burning, I always feel nauseous and dizzy. Yet I never seem to be able to manage to kill myself. Every method I have available seems bad. I have tried everything, meds, acupuncture, bath salts, exercise, ect. Even the doctors I go to ask me what I think there is left to […]
The realization that there are so many options that I can never have, no desires in the world, alive because I am not dead. All false hope I cast away to find the truth, I destroyed all normal development, social skills, parties, life. I am getting closer, closer to responsibility that I will never upheld. I am truly broken, unable to feel joy, the beautiful sunrise seen through faded eyes. Unable to be fixed, I accept death before symptom management.
Just a reminder nbarules is a mor(m)on and tries to make people here feel worse. Hey nba http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5x_-IoeSB-A&feature=related seriously!
Funny thing is the way I found this site was I searched on google “Methods for suicide”
I have to clean the infection out of the wound before I can allow it to heal, Even if it already scabbed over I would have to reopen it to clean it, although it never healed.
Check out this song, you will absolutely love it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSiyA1cLTWQ
I’ve had physical problems for a while (stomach and head) My stomach hurts all the time and my head always aches and I have constant dizziness and headaches . I’ve been to doctors and they find nothing. I’ve read a few places that built up anger and depression can cause physical problems. Is that true? Any experience? Also A few years ago I took around 100 tylenol and 50 asprin and realized that it was a bad method and went to the hospital, drank charcol ect. They said I didn’t damage my insides but I think my stomach had problems a month after that so […]
I can’t even believe it, the complete level of stupidity in humanity. Society fucks the world up and ruins life for everybody who actually thinks, then people say “suicide is the cowards way out” Here are the arguments for why suicide is wrong 1) God says its wrong 2) Life is precious 3) Think of your parents 4) Its not your life to take its god’s 1- Some invisible all powerful wizard will be mad at me okay sure. 2 Life is not precious if you cannot enjoy it 3- They are the reason I even have to kill myself, so thinking about their feelings […]
I just realized that its weird that I am scared/sad to die. I don’t even like the world, Its not like a kid leaving a water park, death is like leaving the Dentist office
to die. So I’m pretty sure I’m done I am very serious but can’t become 100% certain. I can’t function around people, I have been deeply depressed for around 7 years, My motivation in life is to hurt those who hurt me nothing more and nothing less. I have no real goals or dreams in life, I have been on alot of medication, tried everything, have no reason to live and am almost sure I am incapable of love or happiness or even being content. I don’t want to live in any society and I wont do anything I don’t want to. I don’t want […]
Newer Posts