Wraith

I could drop off the edge of the Earth and would be able to count on one hand the people that would wonder where I went. I’m so alone, I don’t know why I’m here. I do have a few things I like to do, but doing them alone is almost not worth the effort or cost. I want to enjoy the things I like to do, but it is so hard when once I do those things there is no one to share with. I sometimes think I’m waisting my time, and my life, even bothering to do things I like any more. Why […]

It seems like every day’s the same
and I’m left to discover on my own
It seems like everything is gray
and there’s no color to behold
They say it’s over and I’m fine again, yeah
Try to stay sober feels like I’m dying here

And I am aware now of how
everything’s gonna be fine one day
Too late, I’m in hell I am prepared now,
seems everyone’s gonna be fine
One day too late, just as well

I feel the dream in me expire
and there’s no one left to blame it on
I hear you label me a liar
‘cause I can’t seem to […]

I know I’m having a so called “mid-Life crisis”, I bought a motorcycle and quit my job, and have been feeling good for the last few months (sorry I havn’t been reading here). But the shit just hit the fan… Someone I knew in the military, I know it has been years since I talked to him but, he died today in a senseless motorcycle accident. Makes me wonder why I am still here and good people like him, and others over the last few months, die in such senseless ways when I (no matter how good I feel) always have this sense that I have […]

I don’t know how much longer I can get up in the morning and hide the fact that I just want to get it over with. I know my past decisions have made my life what it is today, and nothing I do can change what I should have done differently in the past. Regret hurts, it’s like having a hole in my chest and sometimes I can’t breathe. It’s getting harder to pretend that tomorrow will be better when I know it wont, I know there is nothing I can do to make up for the regret.

I regret not doing better in school or continuing my education, […]

I wake up every day and lie in bed not wanting to do the same thing again. I finally get up, eat, shower, and go to work wearing a fake smile. I hate my job, hate my life, hate people, but try to keep that fake smile on my face to hide the truth. I go home every night and drink myself to sleep, I can’t sleep any other way. Every time I try to make a change to this life something else happens to knock me back down. I know how I can sleep for good, I’m not afraid to die, but I wear […]