I know I’m having a so called “mid-Life crisis”, IÂ bought a motorcycle and quit my job, and have been feeling good for the last few months (sorry I havn’t been reading here). But the shit just hit the fan… Someone I knew in the military, I know it has been years since I talked to him but, he died today in a senseless motorcycle accident. Makes me wonder why I am still here and good people like him, and others over the last few months, die in such senseless ways when I (no matter how good I feel) always have this sense that I have made too many mistakes and I will never be able to be truly happy. I always have my “last option” (CO2 poisoning) in the back of my head no matter how I feel about things. I just don’t understand why I am still here when I constantly think about dying, and those people that enjoy life and live to it’s fullest are dying around me. I just fail to understand life sometimes, fail to understand why I’m still here…
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It has been a while… Ooo, what motorcycle?( Got my m1 license not too long ago…maybe it’s my early mid-life crisis or my literal one… )
Sorry to hear about the friend…It does suck to hear when good people die in such senseless ways( especially when you yourself feel like dying ). I don’t think you can have TOO many mistakes – everyone makes A LOT of mistakes “you’re only human”. Life’s just not fair in that way… but I don’t think because others die senselessly means that you have to die or something – if anything, haven’t plenty died? Hm. Something is still keeping you here? Maybe you really don’t want to go…? I hope you can understand why you are here still and hold onto that and strengthen your hold on life…
Pretty messed up.
People who want to be here seem to die before their time.
I’ve wanted to be dead for years and get chronic sickness and physical injury but sweet death refuses.