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Blake SinBad

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Hey :3

by Blake SinBad
written by Blake SinBad

Well well…seems like every time I take a trip down memory lane to this site, there’s oodles of new people and none of my old friends left…I wonder if they ever visit? Anyway, hey guys. Name’s Blake SinBad and I thought I’d let you know that I’m always open to talk or vent to if you need a hand or someone to listen to you. Totally free from judgement of any sort. I promise.

email: frejashinepaws@gmail.com
kik: xXFrejaShinePawsXx
Tumblr: just click on my link and use my ask box
Phone: HAHAHAAHAHHAHA no.

Sometimes I find that strangers are the best form of medicine…

I promise I’m not a […]

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Failed…Again.

by Blake SinBad
written by Blake SinBad

Hey guys, it’s been a while. Just thought I’d update about my shitty life.

Well, the night before the last day of school was…interesting. I know I had tried to kill myself in the past. Multiple times. But this time…I could feel it. I felt calm. I felt ready. My head was clear and my decision had been made…My rents were out in the garage doing whatever and I was inside alone. I grabbed a total of 63 aspirin (I know probably could have grabbed something better) and downed at least 13 or 14 of them. I had made sure to read the bottle and it […]

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Where’d Everybody Go?

by Blake SinBad
written by Blake SinBad

Wow. I almost forgot what it was like to be alone. I forgot how gut-wrenchingly horrifying it is. How it eats you from the inside out. boyfriend hast talked to me in over two weeks. We see each other all the time, and I try to talk to him, but it’s like we don’t know how anymore. I’m not going to be able to keep this up. All of my friends have been getting mad at me because I fuck things up all the time. My best friend though, is still there. She’d never leave…right? My only other actual friend is a guy in my […]

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Oh, Nostalgia

by Blake SinBad
written by Blake SinBad

Dang, I haven’t been on here in forever, it brings back so many memories! I see there’s a lot of new additions to this site. Nice to see some new faces. Erm. Uh. You know what I mean. Anyway, I was just in the neighborhood and thought I’d update on the depression status.

My parents found out that I had been cutting, and they took my knife, blades, safety pins, and lighters away. I haven’t cut in 2 months and 3 days. I have never wanted to cut this badly before. My scars all look like those really cool white ink tattoos and you […]

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To The Ones Who Don’t Understand

by Blake SinBad
written by Blake SinBad

You say you do. You say you understand. You say things like, “oh, I know exactly how you feel,” and, “I’m always here for you, I’ll never leave.” …but then there comes the time when you know you’re truly alone and that’s typically when you need them the most…and then they say, “well why can’t you just get over it?” and, “do you like being this way or something?”

…

Well, what they can’t seem to understand is that in some cases you don’t want to change or get better, and in other cases, you simply just can’t…

…

Sometimes even managing to open your eyes in the moment […]

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To This Day.

by Blake SinBad
written by Blake SinBad

TO THIS DAY.

When I was a kid
I used to think that pork chops and karate chops
Were the same thing
I thought they were both pork chops
And because my grandmother thought it was cute
And because they were my favourite
She let me keep doing it

Not really a big deal

One day
Before I realized fat kids are not designed to climb trees
I fell out of a tree
And bruised the right side of my body

I didn’t want to tell my grandmother about it
Because I was afraid I’d get in trouble
For playing somewhere that […]

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Hey There :)

by Blake SinBad
written by Blake SinBad

picture038

Hey there 🙂

My name is Sara Johnson.

I just came to say, as a regular of this site, I’m in a really good mood, despite the shit I’m going through right now. I do have issues, but that’s not important. I want to talk about you. I know I don’t know you. Hell, you don’t even know me. But I think you’re beautiful. Not on the outside. Fuck that shit. Do whatever YOU think makes YOU beautiful on the outside. But I think you’re beautiful […]

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Awkward.

by Blake SinBad
written by Blake SinBad

Every time I post something on here, whether a post or a comment, I feel super annoying and like to one really wants me on here…I’m kind of awkward…so…that’s how I feel on a daily basis. like I’m super annoying and I cant stop…then I push everyone away…

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The Past

by Blake SinBad
written by Blake SinBad

I was just going through my deviantart account and saw that my recent (or like 5 days) ex had a new picture he drew posted. I checked it out, told him I liked it…then I went through some of his old pictures…and came across all of the pictures drawn of me and him…all the moments he caught with his art…they’re beautiful…I started crying a little bit…it’s so…goddamn…painful…I need to go cut now…

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No Love

by Blake SinBad
written by Blake SinBad

Ugh…people…I haven’t posted anything meaningful on here in a little while. Lately, my boyfriend and I broke up. He’s going to date my best friend. I lost my other best friend on Halloween. There’s a guy I like but I’m too socially awkward to talk to him. I don’t even think he likes me. But whatever. I have been separated from my phone and IPod. My sister is causing shit with my parents again. My parents are fighting even more than usual. I know that I really shouldn’t complain, but it’s still a lot to handle…sorry for wasting your time…

…

…Last night I carved ‘No Love’ […]

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BIpolar…

by Blake SinBad
written by Blake SinBad

Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder

Manic Phase
•Little sleep, plenty of energy
•Exaggerated optimism, excessive self-confidence, euphoric mood
•Engaging in wreckless, inappropriate behavior
•Promiscuity, sexual aggression
•Distractible, unable to concentrate, too many ideas
•Abuse of alcohol or drugs
•Increased irritability
•Manic phase lasts at least one week

Depressive Phase
•Deep despair, suicidal thoughts or actions
•Anger or fear due to uncontrollable mood swings
•Feelings of guilt, low self-esteem
•Difficulty falling asleep, restless sleeping, over-sleeping
•Diminished sex drive
•Loss of interest in formerly-enjoyed activities
•Eating disorders, unexpected weight gain or loss
•Physical pains not associated with a known illness

I think I’m bipolar…

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To: ANYONE

by Blake SinBad
written by Blake SinBad

Dear ANYONE,

My ARMS, THIGHS, STOMACH, and ANKLES are adorned with the marks of my THANKS TO YOU.

This SLIT is to thank you for all the PAIN you’ve caused me.

This CUT is to thank you for the TORTURE you put me through.

This SLASH is for the LOVE you never gave me.

This GASH is for the HOURS I lie awake.

This SLICE is for the NAMES you’ve given me.

Every MARK I have made is because of YOU.

…Yet you don’t see that…

…All you see is me…

…And how much you hate me…

…Well here’s my perfect weapon…

BYE.

-Love,

NOBODY

(a.k.a. ME)

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Worthless

by Blake SinBad
written by Blake SinBad

I’ve been spending so much time focusing on school…I’ve tried so hard so far…I even told my friends and boyfriend that I needed a break from all of them so that I could focus on school and get things sorted out…My grades have slipped…I can’t focus…I got screamed at by a teacher…and my parents…I don’t know what to do anymore. It’s been 9 days since my last cut…I might not make it to ten days if this keeps up…I feel so useless and worthless and empty…I don’t know what to do…

(sorry for all of the ellipses,((the …’s)), it’s just my thought process.)

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Late At Night

by Blake SinBad
written by Blake SinBad

I just spent the night at my guy friends house along with a couple of other so-so friends. It took me all night to realize that he was just as dark and alone as I was. He has been depressed for almost as long as I have. That’s a really long time. He carries the weight of everything on his shoulders. He’s constantly pressured and yelled at by everyone. That explains why he always looked so pissed in the hallways whenever I saw him. I can’t wait to see him on Tuesday (no school Monday) and see more of his point of view. I finally […]

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