we always say society is a ***** society destroys us, It’s all society’s fault that were like this….but were part of society…
just come back already! jump out and say Syke! just don’t be real…please…be alive…I can’t hear your voice, no way to call, I can’t see you, you’re on another continent…we lived in a virtual world…but…you still are family to me…so fucking be alive, don’t be gone…did you swallow your pills? did it work? did…did you cut too deep…was I the reason you left…I could’ve helped, I couldv’e saved you. It’s all my fault. You…you are not dead. you have to be alive…you have to be. YOU HAVE TO BE!!!
i know he offed himself…but I’m still convincing myself he’ll come back and send me another e-mail, say “I love ya sis” one more time…butt he won’t…but I still hold on to this sliver of hope….
so…this is how it starts…
so…this is how it starts…
waking up another day,
puttin up with the pain.
wishing I had died in sleep.
wishin I had failed to breathe.
but shit happens for a reason right,
well I have a reason that I’m gonna die.
shit happens and this is my reason right,
i’m so fucking sick of life.
and even when things are up,
i’m always going down.
and even with some pick me ups.
I’m always fucking gonna drown!
So, let it rain
let it poor,
let the blood leak under the door,
let it rain,
let it pour,
blind the world,
and slip away on linolium floor.
let it hail,
let it […]
I’m bad at being a person, I’m bad at being alive. I’m bad at being worth it, heck, I can’t even survive.
I’m good at being a fuck up, i’m good at being sad, i’m good at having no luck, i’m good at being bad.
there are voices, and they yell, all the choices, and stroies they tell. there are demons, In my soul, and they eat me, they eat me whole. there are tears, streaming down, filling an ocean, i hope I drown. There is blood, spilling out, I really pray that, I’m not found.
I’m bad at giving love, I’m bad at giving hope, i’m bad […]
nobody cares. admit it. you guys don’t either.
Take another step dear,
take another breath dear,
bow to your fans dear,
and poof, you disappear dear.
Take another shot hun,
Drink until your numb, hun.
It’s all a buncha fun,
Bam, shouts the gun!
Buy a bikini, dear
and make it pretty, dear.
wear waterproof makeup dear,
cause you wanna look good, dear.
now jump in the water hun,
let it take away the pain, hun
and Done done done, hun,
you’re done.
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I havn’t written a poem or song for a while. I guess because things have been okay since since last monday, I started going downhill again, I have a […]
That moment, when you’re standing in front of the fridge crying, because you know, as soon as you open it, you’re going to eat. and eating is bad. eating helps nothing in your mind. You’ll just suffer by surviving. You just stare. your hand on the cold handle. Just wanting so badly to get something, anything, you don’t care, but you can’t. or else you will curse yourself. But your senses take over, they over powerr everything, and you open it, and you take something, anything, you don’t care. and eat.
Crap, i’m slipping again. :'(
I hate who I am. I don’t have reason or cause to, except for, I am me. I don’t like it one bit. If there were a chance I could, just for one day, cease to exist, i’d grasp that chance tight and will it to come true. Forget trying to remember how I’m supposed to smile, how i’m supposed to laugh, how i’m supposed to look, how i’m supposed to be. and for a moment, I’ll close my eyes, and cease to exist. For a moment, I’ll be happy, for a moment I’ll be glad to be me. But this is reality, a place […]
self-hate, self-harm,
cutting on your arm,
just a few more little scars.
beautiful as the stars,
but you will never see,
how you look to me.
your my definition,
of beauty, and pretty.
I love the way you are,
i even love your scars.
i’ll love you to the end.
cause your my everythin.
if you ever go,
or if you stray away,
i’ll be on my knees,
beggin you to stay.
Girl, listen to these words,
i’ve tried to write them well.
i love you girl,
more than you can tell.
An’ I guess my main point is,
that your all i’ll ever need.
the grasp life has around us is a tight grasp that only the lucky ones escape. there are some who don’t want to escape. but the majority of people I know do. But then again I guess you attract people you see yourself in. so does that mean I attract a mirror of myself only only with a different reflection? i don’t know. I just want the grasp that life and society has on me and my little mirrors to let go.
When you hate yourself
For being you
It’s hard to smile.
And just be true.
When you break a mirror,
By peering in,
You starve yourself,
And wish for thin.
When you tear your wrists,
And welcome pain,
It’s harder yet,
To just stay sane.
With every breath
You don’t want the next
With every step
You grow closer to death.
With every word
You wish for silence
With every tear,
Follows violence.
Cower dear behind the dark
Wishing still
For a fresh start
Peering down
Towards your wrist
What battle did you fight for this?
You fought the battle
The biggest yet
You fought […]
there are two shots.
just two.
then you hear screaming.
you hear cars screeching as they swerve. the driver’s alarmed and confused. BANG BANG!
just two shots.
all I can see is this weird picture.
i see a bridge first. always the bridge.
then I see cars in front of the bridge.
the sky is from pitchblack to daybreak.
I always see the brigde.
then I hear them.
The two shots.
always.
screaming.
sounds like about 20+ people.
but then this picture…
the bridge and the cars, police cars.
the cars are all empty.
then I see a hand.
a hand holding a gun.
and […]
stop all of the dreams
and start all the nightmares
in my head
if this is what life means,
i’d rather be dead.
shut off the world,
turn off the lights
this is your time dear
you go tonight
write your goodbyes,
and say your last words.
pick up the knife,
ignore how it hurts
Scream!
into the night!
this is your time,
spread your wings
prepare for the flight!
darling i’m jealous!
cause you get to die!
and i’m left drowning,
here in the lies.
i can’t open my eyes.
the dream is permanent.
i cannot escape from it.
eternally sleeping.
never will i wake up.
what will death be like. will it be like forever sleeping or is Heaven and Hell real? what do you guys think?
July 12, 2013.
R.IP. Jacqueline Elise N.
She will be remembered lovingly, and remain in our hearts forever. we will regret the day we told her to die. We will regret the day we made fun of her. We will regret the day we said she was complaining, that she should fuck off. We will regret it all. Jacqueline, smart, top of her class, beautiful, loving, poetic, creative, and dead. All she was learning had weighed her down, her final months were spent saying her hellos as she was never fond of goodbyes. And then, July 13. She said her last hello, and plummeted nearly […]
stop all of the dreams,
and start all the nightmares,
Listen, to them scream.
but nothing is there,
your all I’ve got,
your my only hope.
but now even you
seem to be cutting the rope.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
it’s a fucking mess
and there’s no escape.
my wrists are red.
someone save me.
drowning in this sea,
this sea of blood.
death stole innocence,
with the bang of a gun!
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with every breath you take,
you want to stop it all.
the blade is your friend,
it helps you when you fall.
love is a joke,
your only love is rope,
it made you a […]