My post of no importance #2

Take another step dear,
take another breath dear,
bow to your fans dear,
and poof, you disappear dear.
Take another shot hun,
Drink until your numb, hun.
It’s all a buncha fun,
Bam, shouts the gun!
Buy a bikini, dear
and make it pretty, dear.
wear waterproof makeup dear,
cause you wanna look good, dear.
now jump in the water hun,
let it take away the pain, hun
and Done done done, hun,
you’re done.
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I havn’t written a poem or song for a while. I guess because things have been okay since since last monday, I started going downhill again, I have a boyfriend, he loves me a lot, and I love him, but I just get worse, I have new friends, who know what I’ve felt before, have experienced self-hate and self-harm, but I’m still getting worse. I’ve gained a bit more confidence, and am standing up for myself, but i’m still getting worse on the inside. I cut again too, and not just once, i cut 58 times. I’m gonna have 104 scars in the the first 5 inches of my arm. I don’t have anyone who will listen, I feel like a burden to my friends when i talk about how I feel, I feel like a burden to my boyfriend when i do too, even though they say I’m not. (sigh) I want out, but i’d be hurting to many people. Faking happiness has killed me. Why do have to be me.